For those of you who can’t get enough of these crazy stories, we thought it would be cool to compile another list of testimonies from people who have seen the dark side of black Friday and lived to tell the tale.
I'm Trying, I Swear
For some reason, lots of people use Black Friday as a chance to return stuff. They're already there shopping for cheap stuff, might as well get a little bit back, right? But with all those people in the store, help is thin.
This employee had to explain to the supervisors that he or she wasn't Superman, and thus had a hard time moving and working at the speed of light. We know supervisors are under just as much stress, but sometimes they do need to recognize when things aren't the worker's faults.
Shopping After Surgery
The backstory to this tale is that the employee had just had shoulder surgery, but still had to work on Black Friday. The retail worker had to handle the most dangerous department of Black Friday shopping without even the use of both arms and suffered for it.
All that for some free CD-Rs? People, those things are barely worth it if the store is paying YOU! This must have been some time ago, back when data transfer used a little more hardware and a little less cloud software.
We almost can't believe that we have to say this, but if you're a week post-op from open-heart surgery, don't join the mob on a Black Friday. One of the ladies from this story risked it for holiday deals, but she paid for it in a big way after another lady started getting violent.
The negative effects were immediate and memorable. Amazingly, the lady who did the deed was actually able to get away and pay for her items.
Letting the Fists Fly Over a Dress
There's a little bit of editorializing going on in this story, but it still stands out in a store that for the most part is calm and collected, even on Black Friday. The way the story is written, it seems like the store as a whole was pretty quiet, so having two little ladies battle over a dress so early in the morning is even more memorable. It wasn't a huge mob, it was just two of them.
Surely there are more dresses to purchase? Entitled seems a bit mean, but it's hard for us to discard the world entirely after all these Black Friday stories.
The Gentleman Cookie Thief
This cookie vendor had the poor misfortune of being in a clever thief's sights. The guy must have been a former worker for the company and probably a manager of some kind at that since not everyone could stumble their way into being able to take all the money. The employee was busy and overworked and made a bad mistake.
The story continues to say that this thief ended up stealing over ten thousand dollars from various locations. That's a lot of dough. Sadly, even bigger companies can't let this kind of mistake go, and a number of employees were fired.
May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor
Yet another story of how Black Friday shoppers are wild beasts who care not for their fellow man, but we wonder if this sort of energy could be used to benefit the stores. Instead of unwrapping all the items, they just leave them wrapped on their pallets. This will allow the store to give their employees kung fu lessons, for instance. Just naming something off the top of our heads.
They could also install treadmills that are attached to generators right beyond the front doors – that would save them a bundle on power during the day, and maybe even enough for the weekend, too.
Straight From the Supplier
These deal-crazed shoppers couldn't even let the merchandise get off the truck and into the store before they were ready to tear it apart. We have to imagine this isn't what he was hoping to deal with when he woke up. It must have felt sort of like a zombie movie, but running over the people who were mobbing him would have gotten him in trouble.
We wonder if they were able to get into the truck before the pallets were even unloaded. Jokes on them, though – his truck only carried fresh vegetables. Hey, they were on sale too, where are you going?
Get Out of There!
If you want to buy something, do it from the shelves that are actually part of the store, not the stockroom. There are numerous advantages to doing this. For one, you will actually be able to find the items, as long as they're in stock. The labels are an oft-forgotten part of the shopping experience.
What aisle are the tube socks in? Why, that's aisle fourteen, outdated eighties fashions. But if you wander into the pack, things are all over the place. Plus, they might not even be tagged for purchase, which will slow everything down. Finally, though Black Friday shoppers don't tend to care, it could be dangerous.
It's a Free-for-all
Black Friday can end up being a nightmare for a lot of people, and we imagine this kid who thought he had snagged one of the treasured laptops, only to have it ripped away, had some nightmares. The throng of people who wanted the best electronics of the shopping season was intense, but the young shopper was nimble enough to slip through.
He didn't get out without his red badge of courage, however, and didn't even get to keep the computer. A lot of wild stuff happens, but a child actually being thrown? That's relatively rare.
Really, Actually Black Friday
It's not often nature delivers us such a hilarious coincidence. As all the shoppers lined up to pay for their items big and small, Friday actually turned black. Stores have emergency lights, but they all still had to sit with their carts and just wait until the power came back on and the cash registers started working again.
We hope that all of the shoppers took the chance to sit down, take out a deck of cards, and bond with their fellow man over the cool stuff they'll hopefully get to buy once the power returns.
Not All Stores Have Deals
There are lots of possible lessons to take from all of these crazy Black Friday stories, and here's another one: people who spit on other people don't deserve bacon. Take that lesson to heart and let it guide you toward the good things in life. These people didn't seem to understand that not all of the stores in a mall (or wherever this story is set) will be open super early with deals for everyone.
Some of them are still just restaurants that work the exact same way as any other business day. The bacon goes on burgers later. We can't serve it for breakfast.
We Aren't at That Level of Tech Yet
Electronics and technology have jumped ahead by what feels like leaps and bounds just in the last couple of years. Ever since the widespread proliferation of Wi-Fi and smartphones, you could be forgiven for thinking it seems like Star Trek. For the most part, this is good, but a good number of people are already looking too far ahead, like this lady.
Maybe one day we can transmit battery power through the air like we pass text messages or funny gifs, but we aren't there just yet. Sorry lady, but all of the iPads are going to function the exact same way.
Never Get Between Grandmothers and Presents
Children wanted those Nintendo DSs like they were going out of style. They weren't, but they were super popular. All of the grandkids wanted one, which is how we get scenes like the one described in this story. After you've been through enough life, you lose a little bit of your self-esteem.
Sometimes this is a good thing – you don't hold yourself in as high of a regard, so you can say things like they are. You don't need people's approval. It can also be bad, like in this instance. You don't care what anyone thinks, so you're more willing to get in a fight with another old woman over a toy.
It's Not All Bad
Yes, lots of people go shopping on the day after Thanksgiving, but it's always to the big box stores, the electronic places, the fancy boutiques, the game stores, and (if you're like me) the bookstores. But there's one place not many people go shopping at all after a day of feasting and family, and that's a place with lots of other food to buy.
Think about it – have you ever gone to the grocery store on Black Friday? You have enough leftovers in your fridge to feed a platoon, so there's hardly ever a reason to stock up on the essentials.
Are Those Things Cheaper on Black Friday, Too?
This guy went from trying to pilfer a bit of tech to ending up in the slammer for a number of reasons. Why he would join the busiest day of the shopping season with those other items in tow is a question we're not going to be able to accurately answer, but safe to say this guy wasn't really thinking on all cylinders. Not just an illegal weapon, and not just super illegal drugs, but BOTH.
We all want those fancy speakers, my guy. Spend the money like the rest of us, and leave that extra stuff in the car.
The Two-Person Tactic
She's crafty, that one. On the other hand, it's still a pretty underhanded tactic, especially since a five-year-old shouldn't really be left alone, especially while shopping on a Black Friday. Still, we have to give some props to the kid for playing his part just as it was written.
In the meantime, the mom picked all of the best out of fellow shoppers' carts and off the shelves. We don't know at all if the mom suffered anything for this, but we also hope that she realized this is the sort of thing she should be embarrassed by.
Back to the Stone Age
Even in our modern times, Black Friday is hectic, busy, and a whole lot of work. Now imagine all of those frantic shoppers trying to spend big bucks on TVs and laptops and Bluetooth speakers or whatever the hot item is, and not being able to swipe credit cards or scan product numbers. All it took was three hours of this kind of madness before the worker decided it was going to be the last time he or she worked on Black Friday.
No doubt the shoppers at the store weren't pleased about this either, but it was either that or try to go to a different store, after all that time shopping in the crush of Black Friday.
When Did This Story Take Place? 1980?
For some reason not only was there a little old lady who needed something to tune, so too did a teenage boy, who feasibly had access to things like the internet and podcasts. Maybe this story took place a little bit in the past since there are so many other ways to listen to the actual radio waves.
Another part of this story that makes us sit up is the reversal – we'd expect the little old lady to snag a new radio for listening while she baked cookies for the grandkids, and have a tough young teen sucker punch her. Instead, it was the other way around.
And Good Riddance!
For this kind of gifting shopper, it wasn't the shopping experience that was the issue, it was the wait beforehand. Black Friday is at the tail end of November, and as such there are lots of places around the world that feature low temperatures, rain, sleet, or even snow, and this lady had to deal with all of it so she could get the year's big-ticket item for her boyfriend, who definitely did not appreciate everything she had sacrificed to get it.
He then turned around for a quick bundle of cash, and she dropped him just as quickly.
Sale on Full-Arm Casts
People who risk their lives and health to shop on Black Friday now that they are putting it on the line to grab some great swag and save a bundle. They always know there's a chance they'll take some damage as they're fighting for the hot items of the season, but you still don't expect to break your shoulder/arm in five places, as this gal did.
It might be possible to push through the pain if it's one break, but five different places? That's an immediate trip to the hospital. We'd love to know how this comically ridiculous injury took place, but the story has no other details.
That Will Get Their Attention
There's a strange paradox that often happens when you're shopping. If you're just browsing, or you know what you're after, you can't get rid of store associates. If you need help finding something, suddenly they've all disappeared. This is especially true if it's a wild shopping day like Black Friday since there's no way there are enough retail workers to help everybody who needs assistance.
This guy apparently thought the right tactic was to drop trou and make a deposit. This was, of course, a poor decision, since while it might have attracted an associate, it didn't really make them want to help the guy out.
You Are Now an Adult
We all remember the moment we lost our childhood. For me, it was when my stuffed teddy bear fell into an industrial paper shredder. For a lot of young retail workers, it's the first time they have to face the ravenous hordes on Black Friday. This worker got a face full of irate shoe fanatic when she simply offered to check another store.
On every other day of the year, that would be the kind of tactic a shopper would readily accept, but not that day. On that day, the shopper had bigger and better things to move on to, and couldn't be asked to do something so pedestrian as to wait a few minutes.
Well, Sure, Why Not
If you have a mortal enemy, it's always a perfect time for a tussle. These two ladies must have thought the same thing, since they got into a fight in the middle of Black Friday madness. It wasn't even for a particularly on-sale item – it was for something else entirely, and we don't even know what.
A child even got hurt during the brawl, and it required the store's employee to make sure it was safe. There's no more information for the story, so we don't know if the fight was broken up, the entire store got into a melee, or law enforcement came.
They Made a Clean Getaway
One of the strangest elements of all these theft-related stories is the sheer number of them. The prices are the lowest of the entire year on Black Friday, so why steal on that day? Why not the other days? Is it because of the new merchandise for the holiday season? Do they think all the other people in the stores will better mask their actions?
One way or another, many chose this day to pilfer products. Some of them, like these crafty thieves, plan a little more than just grab-and-go, and as such not only get away with the goods but leave plenty of collateral damage at the same time.
The Lonely Shopper
It's the dream, isn't it? To be able to shop the deal-laden aisles of Black Friday with no one else around. One lady figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. Of course, the answer was no. That didn't perturb this shopper, however, who knew that all it would take to clear the place out was finding the closest fire alarm.
Of course, pulling an alarm could have led to plenty more than just empty aisles as people scrambled to escape the store. We don't know if anyone was hurt, but the solitary shopper got collared, since pulling the fire alarm for something frivolous is illegal.
Learn, Child, and You Too Will be a Jerk
Target is one of the more crazy places to go shopping on Black Friday since the store sells basically everything. Electronics, clothes, shoes, toys, even car supplies, and groceries. The people who have the spine to try this red store on the busiest shopping day of the year need to be ready for anything, just like this lady.
She's teaching her child young the best way to save on all the goods that Target has to offer. Even, as this story shows us, there's no real good reason for it. Just get a different cart. The baby formula and diapers will still be there unless they've been REALLY marked down.
Covering the Shameful Act
Dressing rooms are always a hazard, even if the store is a higher-end place. There are plenty of attempts at theft that happen there. There are also, as this story tells us, lots of much, much worse things, too. Let's put this in the best light possible: All of the bathrooms were in use, and the person who did this really, really had to go.
Then, he or she was embarrassed and used a dress to try and hide the deed. Probably shouldn't have used a dress that was so expensive, but if the shopper was planning on buying it, it's a loss for everybody.
Like Marking Her Territory
We're seeing a disturbing trend of people who use pepper spray, which actually hurts quite a lot, being used for shopping. At least this lady didn't spray it at a group of people – just one. Yeah, towels are pretty important, but is it really worth it committing assault? Yeah, you'll save a few bucks, but lawyers are a lot more expensive than the few dollars you won't have to pay for those towels.
Next time, lady, get to the towels before anyone else and spray them then. Nobody else will even go near them, and you can have them all to yourself.
All That for Fifteen Dollars
First off, that's a lot of games, and those do take up a pretty good collection of space. That's got to be a couple of duffel bags at least. Second, come on, man, just follow the rules. It's not like Black Friday means you'll get more than a few cents for each of those old Xbox games or whatever. Third, I hope you're happy because you never get to go to GameStop again.
You can't buy Amiibos, or trade-in games, or camp out for the latest Call of Duty from any of their fine establishments. This is what you have wrought.
Wish I Was There Right Now
We have a suspicion that a lot of these crazy stories about wild shoppers are little more than mob mentality: everyone else is acting like a wild animal, why not me? Some of them are shopping-mad, some of them just want to be part of a mob, others finally have a chance to let their inner crazy person out.
This lady, however, was ready to choke someone over a phone line. She wasn't even in the store, so we can't include mob mentality on the list of reasons for her. We guess she just really, really wanted that sweater.
At Least it Was Colorful Spit
Don't worry, lady, we can guarantee that the employees are trying to get you checked out as soon as possible. They don't want you standing in line any more than you want to be standing in line. So, why did this lady decide the best way to keep things moving was to let fly with some spittle onto an employee that, it's very possible, wasn't even in charge of the registers? Because she was a madwoman, that's why.
Next Black Friday, Ma'am, just stay home and enjoy some leftovers. The best part is she might have very well messed up her applied lipstick during this disgusting act.
Protecting the Goods
There are a number of scary stories of people being trampled while working on Black Fridays. The number of people rushing up and down aisles can get so intense that it's like mobs of soccer hooligans or rioters. This worker was just trying to tidy up after a group of shoppers had trashed jewelry to the ground, and he or she got pushed down right alongside it.
The employee was then hurt so bad there was no way to work for months. We'd like to hope that the person responsible was cornered, but with that many people, there's a very low chance of that.
A New Version of the Five-Fingered Discount
This guy wasn't just okay with getting away with goods at low prices. He wasn't even interested in stealing some of the things that were available for purchase – he wanted something that didn't even have a price tag. He also did it in a sneaky fashion that we totally aren't fans of, because stealing from stores is illegal and we can't endorse it, no matter how funny it is.
Thankfully, the loss of a mannequin hand doesn't have a huge effect on a store's shopping hours. An entire mannequin, yeah, but just a hand? Guy can have it.
Somebody really wanted one of those fancy televisions. To not only bring along a can of mace but to also actually deploy it over a crowd of people creates a picture of a person who needs a little bit of help. In fact, we wouldn't be surprised if using that sort of – let's be real here – weapon is some kind of crime.
All that for one of those low-budget TVs that go for fifty bucks and last only a few years. It might not even last as long as his prison sentence before breaking.
Nobody Liked That
People will do anything to shave a few dollars off their shopping if these stories are dependable sources. This lady decided to take a tactic that, we bet, has become a little more popular in the last few years. Problem is, even if the lady had been making a good-faith argument (which she wasn't), it would be almost impossible to tell if the employee was actually being racist.
It's not an easy thing to determine unless the employee was being...well, a little more obvious. This lady not only didn't get a discount, she also didn't get to buy the shoes at all thanks to her little stunt.
Collateral Damage is a Real Threat
Most of the time, the crazy people who go shopping on Black Friday do damage to each other and the merchandise. In the worst instances, such as this example, even the workers sustain injuries, even though they're just trying to get through their day and get home. This one is a particularly bad story, and we hope that people were able to notice that the employee was hurt.
Falling in a mob-like a lot of Black Fridays has a number of risks, especially if you're already bleeding from a sharp tool. We really hope that fresh merch was worth it, violent shopper.
Perhaps the Strangest Black Friday Story
We're trying to figure out why this person would choose to try and pull this trick over on a Black Friday. Our best guess is that the customer figured it was the best way to get away with it since the store would be so busy. Hopefully most of the year this kind of chicanery won't fly.
On the other hand, if we got a rotisserie chicken breast and it had strawberry jam all over it, we'd probably try to return it, too. As long as we weren't the ones who had put it there.
I've Seen Enough
Black Friday means a lot of things. It means deals for the people shopping, a good influx of cash for the shops, and a lot of crazy stories. It also means a lot of shop workers who decided that they've spent enough time working the aisles.
Whether they hit the books to get an education or just decide to try out a different business, that's up to them. We have to imagine that seeing two grown women get into a fight over a pair of six-dollar jeans is going to be the breaking point for a lot of people who have been working long enough.
It's Good to Know What You Want
A brand new big TV. The latest game system. The toy that your kid has been clamoring after for the last four weeks. These are the things that most people line up for, and apparently, this line had been waiting for at least ten hours, almost half a day. Did they sleep overnight, in the cold of November? Maybe, maybe. The person who headed the line, however, was there for the sweet scents of those factory-made candles.
There's no doubt that some of those candles can smell pretty good, and if you know you're going to buy some you might as well do it on Black Friday.
Back into the Hands of Babes
It was a heady time during the era of Beanie Babies. It didn't matter who you were, you got caught up in the madness, at least a little bit. We all have a box of these stuffed animals hiding in the closet, or maybe just the one that still adorns our bookshelf. This gal has a story from that time when apparently she got away from Black Friday with a new prized possession by the skin of her teeth.
There are way too many stories about adults stealing stuff from kids that we can find. C'mon, people, have a heart.
They're Mine! My Preciouses!
The mad lad from this story walked home with a major haul of one-dollar towels, so good for him. On the other hand, the description from the story sounds like there were dozens if not hundreds of towels available, and if he really got all of them, what on Earth is he going to do with all of those? Was this person desperate for soaking up liquid? Like, is his faucet and shower running at all times?
Maybe he was on the lookout for holiday presents and figured pretty much everybody could use some new towels. Well, he wasn't wrong. Towels aren't a bad gift.
There is so Much to Know
It wasn't even the first time. That's the best part. What store was this? What were people trying to get after either time? We don't know anything else. All we know is that this isn't the first time the door has been torn down. It might not even be the second time.
What kind of mob strength is required to tear a door down? Was this a little local store, like a mom-and-pop place? Or was this mob at such power that it tore a door off of a Best Buy or a Target? Also, who has to put the door back?
To the Victor go the Spoils
If you've read one story about two idiots getting into a fight during Black Friday, you've read most of them. This one, however, is a little different. The two guys who got into close-quarters decided the best way to decide who got the Crock-Pot was to use it as a weapon.This was a poor choice.
Not only because that sort of damage is illegal (thus the reason the police paid them a visit), but it could also do damage to the very item they're fighting over. So now not only do they have the Crock-Pot, but they both had to have a talking to by the law.
Give Us a Break, Lady
Yeah, I bet you didn't know you could be arrested for that, could you? Maybe you called the police when you were eight because your older brother stole your Pokemon cards, but that's kid stuff. Literally. They aren't going to charge anyone for that. But if you're a grown woman, calling the emergency services because a store wouldn't price match? Yeah, that gets you charged.
On Black Friday the police are running around handling riots, assaults, theft, and who knows what else, and this lady has the gall to tell them about the totally legal business practices of a store. Give her life, judge.
This is Off-White! I Needed Pearl!
We all have moms. Most of the time, they're pretty good, what with the whole “bringing us into the world” thing. But they can be a bit particular, especially, for some reason, when it comes to colors. We don't know whether or not this woman was a mother, but there's a pretty good chance she was. Only a mom would make such a display when she couldn't get the proper color.
But was this performance planned, or was it a real, true display of overwhelming emotion? Looking at all the other Black Friday stories available, there are arguments for either side.
There are Deals Everywhere
The details are a little mixed around in this short story. We aren't totally sure which of the characters is in the wheelchair. The best bet is the man in the wheelchair already had the ice cream maker, which means the old woman came up to him, snagged the piece of merch, and just ran off, leaving the poor guy without an ice cream maker and nothing but a low battery to show for it.
We know how important it can be to have an ice cream maker, especially if you live in a hot area, but lady, why don't you get your own?
Giving Himself a Concussion for No Reason
How many people would volunteer to go to Black Friday shopping and not go to even buy anything? That's what this guy had in mind, believe it or not. Instead, he was there to try and scam some money out of those stores by spilling food and then taking another lap before slipping and hurting himself.
According to the story, he got a concussion and lost his lunch. Of course, the barest amount of investigation revealed that the shopper had staged this show himself, which meant he had to suffer through those injuries without any help. And that's how it should be.
A Sneaky Shopper Found Out
What had happened here was the shopper had taken a different barcode, slapped it over the original, and hit the checkout, thinking he was about to save a bundle on a big item. Of course, the person who worked there was aware that a big TV is always going to cost more than twenty dollars.
The story goes on to say that the customer had to be taken into the back room for questioning, and we bet it didn't take very long for the story to come out in full. The employee also apparently received a free pie for being quick-witted enough to see the falsehood.
Lying Isn't Very Good Shopping Etiquette
People try all kinds of things to make sure they get the best deals the quickest during Black Friday. There's lots of pushing and shoving, some fights, even a little bit of moving merch from one cart to another, but pretending to have a medical emergency because you don't want to wait in line? That's just wrong.
This shopper couldn't even convince a new worker that she was having a medical issue, and she wasn't happy about it, since she let up the lie and laid out that she was just trying to cut in line once pressed even a little bit.
Ah. An Actual Crime
At the very least a misdemeanor, it's possible this event was an actual felony, depending on which state this occurred in. At the very least, this guy could have easily gone to jail for trying to choke someone who was just working as an employee. The story goes on to say the woman got the shopper to calm down and left him feeling like he had really done something wrong.
Because, of course, he had. Next time, buddy, just take a closer look at the signs before you start grabbing things (merchandise or lanyards) willy-nilly.
Boot Camp Wasn't for Nothing
If you're a bargain hunter, you know you have to act fast to save the most. Microwaves aren't the most expensive things ever, but they can still cost a pretty penny. This guy knew he had to do something to get around the impressive mass of people. He dropped down and started crawling since the shelves were empty and the aisles were full of people.
That's all it took for him to make off with one of the cheap microwaves, and we bet the microwave popcorn or whatever he feasted on that night tasted especially good.
We Could Understand Battlefield, but Call of Duty?
Walmart works a little differently when it comes to Black Fridays. Unlike other department stores, they don't close at night, so they have to set out the new, cheap material while people are waiting. This story illustrates why that might not be the smartest idea. One gamer used his skills to dive for the prize as soon as possible, and it turned into a wild event for everyone involved.
But, at least he learned his lesson: He ended up with some undisclosed injuries – next time he's got a game he wants to add to his collection, we bet he's going to head to the web.
Southern Gothic Black Friday
None of us like to wait in lines, but respecting them is an important part of shopping like a gentleman or lady. THIS lady, however, must not have gotten the message, since she tried to cut in front of fifty other Black Friday shoppers. The security guard stepped in (we imagine to mostly keep the lady from being torn to shreds), but she aimed both barrels of her southern nice at him since he also wouldn't let her do such an unkind deed.
Even after reportedly asking her to play nice, she wasn't having any of it and attacked him with everything she had.
Guys. Guys, There's Another One. Guys.
When you think “brawls,” you don't really think about the store Staples. It's office supplies – that's the sort of stuff that makes a person want to take a nap, not riot. Still, on Black Friday anything can happen, and that anything turned into a fistfight over a label maker.
Guys, what are you going to use a label maker for? Do any of you need it to save the world? If not, we think you can chill out. Especially since it wasn't even the last one. Like, there's another one on the shelf right there. Nobody else wants to buy them, there are plenty left.
There's a Reason People Get There Early
It was the early twenty-teens, and the buying public couldn't get enough portable screens. Stores weren't prepared enough for the drive to buy iPads, so this guy suffered. The people working at the store also suffered, since they had to dodge furniture, which isn't usually a problem when it comes to Best Buy. Stuff they sell there is too expensive and breakable to be thrown with any regularity.
Still, this Black Friday worker had to deal with it because the guy didn't realize a potentially world-changing piece of technology was going to sell out quickly.
Furby – the Dangerous Toy
Remember Furbies? The little electronic doll toys that spoke in gibberish and were one of the hottest things of the season for a year? If you're young enough, you might not, but plenty of old retail workers and parents do. This story illustrates just how sought-after the toys were during the holiday shopping season.
The customer who did this went home empty-handed, but the store couldn't detain her until the police got there. She apparently clocked the manager and escaped before the law could arrive. Amazingly, escaping with only two broken fingers is somewhat of a miracle.
The Worst Era of Them All
Even if you weren't part of the retail industry or one of the shoppers, you've probably heard about the madness that came about because of something as simple as a Tickle Me Elmo doll. It was the hottest toy of the year, and even though each year has one – sort of by definition – there was something about this toy that sent people into paroxysms of insanity. As the story here should indicate.
Apparently, the officer had to get blood tests every few months to make sure the crazy woman didn't give him any diseases.
Busy Day for the Police, We Bet
The boys in blue have just as much work cut out for them as a lot of the retail workers. People are getting into fights, they might be getting hurt, they might be stealing, and they might be dealing with this kind of nonsense.
Why the police would actually decide to send out a car for something that should really be expected raises a lot of questions. We're going to guess that the lady didn't exactly say that the store was “out of a TV,” but she instead said there was something else going on, which got the constabulary to visit them.
We Have Restrooms for a Reason!
We all knew we were going to get at least one of these stories by the time the article was over, but we had hoped it was an adult who had chosen to, not a kid who had been forced to. There are lots of angles to analyze this story – the poor people who had to clean it up, the other customers who had to watch, or the mom who is the absolute worst.
However, let's have a moment of silence for the poor kid, who is almost certainly going to remember this for the rest of his life, even if he never breathes a word of it to anyone else.
A Cavalcade of Black Friday Crazy
This retail worker has experienced all and sundry in the service of selling things the day after Thanksgiving. From bodily fluids to theft to medical emergencies, there's little that people don't see during the busiest shopping day of the entire year.
On the other hand, people who load up on carbs the day before will have plenty of energy, and working hard means racking up the burned calories and getting a head start on that January first weight-loss resolution. Or at least not feeling so bad about taking the third piece of the pie.
Sir, Please Remove Your Pants
We get the impression that this fellow was found out rather quickly. It doesn't matter how baggy your pants are, or how big your pockets are, you can't fit an entire Panasonic Blu-Ray player into them without casting suspicion on yourself. Was it just the machine itself, or was it the entire box, all accessories included?
Well, one way or another, that's not going to fly. Black Friday is already about getting stuff for cheap, why would you do something this stupid, and get charged with theft? It probably wasn't all that expensive anyway. He also could have easily stolen the discs themselves.
Guy Deserves a Medal
Few things are as powerful as the buying public when a brand new device has come out. Sometimes that also happens on or near a Black Friday, and it gets even worse. This story has the Nintendo Wii, which – while not the most popular thing Nintendo has ever made – sold plenty.
It was popular enough, or people were crazy enough, to get into knock-down, drag-out fights with others so they could get a hand on that sweet, sweet video game goodness. Could you imagine how much coffee you had to have in you to be ready for that press? Bless you, kid.
Well, We're Sure it Still Tastes Good
We're all out to save some cash when it comes to shopping for the holidays. What could be better than finding a cheap amount of lobster? Well, lots of things, unless you're one of the dwindling numbers of people who enjoy lobster. This lady clearly does, since she was willing to tear the sea creature out of the package, stuff it down her pants, and then throw the trash into a hiding spot.
We almost feel bad for the employee who discovered this malfeasance, because he had to indicate to others just how strange the lady's pants looked. That's never easy, especially for a guy.
Was it a Big One at Least?
Battle happens. In the crowded aisles of Black Friday, it seems an eventuality. As time passes, the chance of two or three or four shoppers getting into a fight approaches a hundred percent. This employee tells us that he or she saw two shoppers get into a bare-knuckle fight over a toaster. People, hear me! I also love my toaster.
It has four slots and two temperature knobs. I WILL NEVER GET INTO A FIGHT OVER IT! And I got it for free! There are probably more toasters for you to grab, you don't need to bloody each other over it.
Want to be friendly to your local law enforcement agent in a hurry? Punch them in the face. Security guards on Black Friday are already going to be keyed up for all the madness and chaos that the day brings – starting out by popping one in the face doesn't seem like a very good tactic.
That's the kind of thing that will, at the very least, teach you a lesson about keeping your hands to your face. Or, you'll get to spend the night in a nice, cold, local jail cell. It's also a good way to make sure all the other shoppers are on their best behavior. The guy already got a punch.
Walmart on a Black Friday
What places seem more fraught with danger than a Walmart on the craziest shopping day of the entire year? There but for the grace of God go we. Still, plenty of people choose to brave the crowds to try and get some good stuff for themselves and their families.
A fight broke out by the bike racks one year with multiple combatants, but only one victor, who didn't even end up having to pay for the bike. Well, he SHOULD have, but he didn't. Blood was drawn, and all involved were able to tell their loved ones about the great battle of the bikes with pride. Or shame.
SHE is Going to Tell Management?
Let us try and get this one straight. One customer is holding an item she was going to purchase, using money, and another customer tried to snatch it right out of her hand. The first customer's friends jump to the defense and give her a strong talking to, and the thief thinks she can run to the management of the store and complain?
That's the kind of thing that gets you laughed out of the store, and might even have your picture put up next to a sign that says “Not allowed inside.” Head-shaking. She's too used to getting her way on Black Friday.
What this guy did wasn't very Christian, and it certainly wasn't very kind, but we don't think he really did anything illegal here. The old ladies left the jewelry armoire alone, and that's a dangerous thing to do on Black Friday. Anybody could have come along and grabbed it while they were gone, and this guy had to act fast to get away.
Remember, if you want to maximize your Black Friday shopping experience, hit the gym beforehand to make sure you can carry your own merch. Otherwise, you might fall prey to an opportunistic shopper like this one.
C'mon, Keep Pushing
Sports cars are often smaller, especially compared to SUVs or minivans. They're not the biggest vehicles, and a two-seater is even smaller than normal. So trying to fit an eight-foot tree inside one is going to come with problems right out of the gate. The employee had to help do this – and the story makes us think it's happened more than once – and we can't imagine it ever goes well.
A tree that big, unless it's strapped on top of the roof, is going to get bent and ruined. Just get an artificial tree. Then you won't have to buy a new one every year.
Get Here Ten Hours Earlier, Lady
For those who choose to stay home and relax on Black Friday instead of putting in the shopping legwork, a doorbuster is a big item. The big tv, or the fancy grill, or the laptop, or phone, or the hottest toy of the holiday season. They're the ones that have people fighting over it moments after the doors open. So if a shopper shows up ten hours after that period, they're almost certainly going to be out of luck.
That doesn't keep people from being angry at the workers. What are the workers supposed to do? Keep people from buying the merchandise? That's not how Black Friday works, lady.
No, You're Buying Those
You want to get the best when you're shopping, even on Black Friday, and that means not buying gear that someone else has worn. Or even gear that you have worn. Just because they've been untied or opened doesn't mean the pajama pants are broken, people.
We know there's a good chance that the employee just went and got a fresh pack so there were a few problems as possible, but we kind of hope that the worker very kindly told the shopper to go get stuffed, and have a nice day. That's the kind of thing that might show up on a year-end review.
Poopy Black Friday Behavior
Oh, good. Very good. Great! So not only did this mother leave the dirty diaper just sitting in the parking lot, but she also changed the child right on top of merchandise in the store? We have to assume that she didn't then buy the merchandise – that would be silly. It's all dirty now. She's not going to buy that dirty stuff.
Only the cleanest for her and her child. Hey lady, maybe next time don't bring your kid to Black Friday if this sort of thing is going to happen. At the very least through the used nappy away. In a garbage can, preferably.
Poor Form for the Employee
In the whispered corners of the shopping world, this is something that all employees do a little bit. They get a limited supply of the good stuff, and the employees who set them on the shelf will hide one or two so they have a chance as well. Most of the year this isn't going to hurt many unless it's a rare item, but on Black Friday it could mean destruction.
If a shopper spots that hidden merch, they'll tear the place apart looking for more. Better just to leave it on the shelf and let them have it without making them jump through more hoops.
If We Have it, It's Out There
Even during normal working time, the stockroom is where employees go to relax a little bit. They can take a break, maybe have a drink, and collect themselves for the next rush. There's lots of stock back there, but the way most stores work is they take the stock and put it on the shelves.
If the shelves are empty, that means there isn't any stock left. Asking an employee if they have extra stock in the back is just wasting time for both of you. But on Black Friday, not even the stock room is safe from the wild animals that call themselves shoppers.
Breaking the Laws of Shopping
Most of the time, when you're shopping, your cart is sacrosanct. Have you ever walked by a fellow shopper's cart, seen something nice, and reached in to take it for yourself? No, of course, you haven't, because you aren't a monster. Maybe you've seen something and inquired where it could be found, or gone looking yourself, but you don't reach in.
On Black Friday, the rules are out the window, just like the prices. Not even the hallowed ground of your shopping cart is safe from sticky fingers on the blackest of Fridays.
What is the Price of Pain?
There are lots of items that have been given deep discounts during Black Friday sales, but there are also some items that are at pretty much the same prices, or maybe dropped a buck or two. As this story relates, it isn't even the amount that people will save – for some reason, Black Friday just brings something out of you.
According to this worker, there have been gruesome injuries between shoppers just to save a little bit of cash. All that when you could just go online and find the same item for what is likely an even cheaper price, without having to take a punch.
She Was Looking for a Keurig
Lady, it's already Black Friday! What do you want – do you want the stores to pay you to take the product away? Well, too bad. If all you do is pour coffee onto the ground, that's going to be far better than lots of other things you could do. And now you have to go and buy more coffee.
Congratulations, you just played yourself. Extra discount. Get outta here and go to the Dollar Tree if you want to buy something that cheap. Go on.
A Close Shave
One of the things that have twisted Black Friday from a way to help stores and get people quick and easy Christmas gifts is the fury of the shoppers. There are numerous stories to read about people being violently trampled on. This story is a close call of the same kind when the employee didn't even have a chance to get away from the door before it slammed open and trapped him behind the door, we're assuming against a wall.
Thankfully, there were no major injuries the worker sustained, but we wonder why there wasn't a single person with the thought in their head to help the poor guy or gal out.
Hopefully, it Was for a Knee Brace
It doesn't matter what kind of injuries somebody has on Black Friday. If he or she is the kind of person to hit the stores for the deals, it could even be a broken leg. Such as in this story, when the very bad customer used his crutches to whack a worker because the worker didn't know the location of a specific item.
Was this person looking for a new mountain bike, or did he need a therapeutic pillow? We don't know, but we hope it was something ironic like that. Maybe he needed a new crutch. His old one was breaking for some reason.
This Could Happen at Any Time of the Year
Tensions can run high on the day after Thanksgiving. People want to make sure they get the best stuff for the best prices, and that can lead to some harsh words and actions. Yet the impetus for this story wasn't even something that someone did wrong – it was just moving to the back of a line to check out quicker. That's the kind of thing that happens, we have to estimate, a million times a day around the world.
A different line is being checked out faster, so someone heads to the end, just wanting to get home faster. But on Black Friday, this means a fight.