I often daydream about how good my life can be in the future. I think about the day when everything will fall into place. How one day my love life will be fulfilling, my finances will be in order, I’ll have a family, and a perfect home. It’s fun to plan, plot, and daydream about your future, and while maybe at times it can materialize, it is not always the case.
We, unfortunately, do not always get want we hope for. The only time all the dreaming feels bizarre is when I realize the notion that all my fantasizing is in fact, what’s keeping those things from actually happening. Writer, Steve Calechman, wrote this week on the Harvard Health Blog about how to connect with others and how to get out of your own head. Simply put, it’s about how to get back into the real world by waking yourself up from your fantasies and reservations.
In his story, he said that one way to do this would be to greet and say hi to 10 people for ten days. It does seem cheesy when you think about it, but on the other hand, it also seems like an excellent idea. Calechman wrote that it worked well for him and that people became 3-dimensional. Saying hi to these people also gave him a sense of belonging to the place where he lived, making him feel more involved with the community.
The other day I emailed a new friend that I met, and I opted to take the risk and asked her a personal question. While I obviously didn’t want to seem weird or freak her out, I found it refreshing to make a new connection. It worked well and she ended up asking me a question too. It definitely added some color to an otherwise normal week in my life. I have come to realize that asking people questions when they least expect it and about something that’s out-of-the-box can help you connect more rather than staying stuck inside your own thoughts. On the other hand, I also thought, what if we stopped forcing ourselves to connect with others?
What if connecting to other people doesn’t really matter? It’s true that having someone to connect with is nice, but sometimes, all you really have is yourself. Based on personal experiences, I’ve had some great times with other people, and I think it raised the bar when it comes to such expectations.
It becomes a fruitless attempt to recreate those enjoyable experiences, to have more of those moments. I don’t think I will be able to let go of those idealism that easily but imagining doing just that is also soothing and reassuring on some level. I think that maybe I’ve hit those highest points too many times, too soon, that there’s nowhere to go but down from this point. Rather than sulking and being sad over it, I actually find the idea kind of amusing. In some way, it’s a bit liberating too. More than ever, I think this crazy impulse to always want to do things better and to live a better life is possibly a distracting from being fully present.