Facing Up to the Challenge
Sara had not planned on adopting older children. She lacked experience and know-how with older kids. Yet, she started fostering babies without experience too. And she knew in her heart that she could not let the brothers be torn apart again. This was the driving force in the couple’s decision.
On the other hand, adopting two children would make it difficult to continue fostering. Sara and Stuart’s commitment to fostering children meant that they would be taking care of as many kids as they could. With two of their own, it would make that goal more challenging. This is the challenge that virtually every foster couple faces. There are so many children in need of homes, and they wish they could adopt every one.
Ten-Year-Old Dayshawn
Meeting Dayshawn was life-changing. The couple came to the realization that in order to keep these boys together, they would have to adopt them both. But Dayshawn was 10 years old. Sara had never planned to adopt an older child. An internal storm ensued. They knew what they wanted to do and what the right thing was to do, but it was obviously a new set of circumstances that they hadn't expected, and would offer new challenges.
She was just 23 herself, which would make her only 13 years older than her oldest son if the adoption went through. She wasn’t confident about being a mother to an older child. She was finding herself going against the parameters she and Stuart had previously agreed to.
Rolling With the Changes
As the couple’s plans for fostering only young children were going out the window, they wondered what it would be like caring for a preteen. The teen years could be a challenge they were not ready to handle. What were they getting themselves into?
Yet, as they got to know Dayshawn, their fears thankfully seemed to subside. The loving and charismatic boy was winning their hearts. Sara told "Good Morning America" that they fell in love with Dayshawn the second he opened his mouth. Dayshawn was exactly like his younger brother; charismatic, sweet, and kind. He was every parent's dream.
Changing Lives, One Child at a Time
Fostering children has filled Sara and Stuart’s lives with purpose and meaning. But it’s not easy, not by a long shot! “I love this life,” Sara wrote in her blog that she loves the foster parent life. Even though it is crazy and hard and heartbreaking, it is also life-giving and absolutely wonderful at the same time.
Included in their commitment is a promise to reunite children with their parents whenever possible. It can be very emotional after becoming attached to the children, but it’s also beyond rewarding to accomplish that goal for the family. Sara wrote, “I love being able to support families and cry happy (& sad!) tears when a mother gets her child back.”
Reuniting Michael and Dayshawn
Keeping the boys together was becoming a priority for Sara. Either she and Stuart would have to adopt them, or they would have to be reunited with their parents. But they did not know how the judge's decision to keep the boys together would pan out for their family. Would they be adoptive parents? Or would the boys get to go home? She said she still felt hesitant about adopting an older child, but the feelings were fading away.
Getting to know Dayshawn, Sara found he defied every stereotype about foster teens. She said he’s the most empathetic and compassionate person she knows with a personality that lights up every heart. He’s a social butterfly who welcomes each foster child who comes to the family.