Reuniting Michael and Dayshawn
Keeping the boys together was becoming a priority for Sara. Either she and Stuart would have to adopt them, or they would have to be reunited with their parents. But they did not know how the judge’s decision to keep the boys together would pan out for their family. Would they be adoptive parents? Or would the boys get to go home? She said she still felt hesitant about adopting an older child, but the feelings were fading away.
Getting to know Dayshawn, Sara found he defied every stereotype about foster teens. She said he’s the most empathetic and compassionate person she knows with a personality that lights up every heart. He’s a social butterfly who welcomes each foster child who comes to the family.
Facing Up to the Challenge
Sara had not planned on adopting older children. She lacked experience and know-how with older kids. Yet, she started fostering babies without experience too. And she knew in her heart that she could not let the brothers be torn apart again. This was the driving force in the couple’s decision.
On the other hand, adopting two children would make it difficult to continue fostering. Sara and Stuart’s commitment to fostering children meant that they would be taking care of as many kids as they could. With two of their own, it would make that goal more challenging. This is the challenge that virtually every foster couple faces. There are so many children in need of homes, and they wish they could adopt every one.
Changing Lives, One Child at a Time
Fostering children has filled Sara and Stuart’s lives with purpose and meaning. But it’s not easy, not by a long shot! “I love this life,” Sara wrote in her blog that she loves the foster parent life. Even though it is crazy and hard and heartbreaking, it is also life-giving and absolutely wonderful at the same time.
Included in their commitment is a promise to reunite children with their parents whenever possible. It can be very emotional after becoming attached to the children, but it’s also beyond rewarding to accomplish that goal for the family. Sara wrote, “I love being able to support families and cry happy (& sad!) tears when a mother gets her child back.”
Loving Dayshawn and Michael
The love the two brothers shared convinced the couple to keep them together. But it was also Dayshawn’s ways that motivated them. One time when a new foster child came into their home, Sara overheard Dayshawn. He whispered into the new boy’s ear that he knows this is scary. When he went to his first home he was scared too.
But he assured the boy that he was now safe, cared for, and Dayshawn promised that no one would hurt him. "I’ll be your buddy," Dayshawn reassured the little boy. He melted their hearts on a daily basis. Not making the decision to adopt was becoming unimaginable. Sara felt too much love for those boys to make any other decision.
Their First Year as a Family
It was after the four of them had spent a year together as a family that Stuart and Sara got the ball rolling toward legal adoption. This meant they would have to deal with the courts and wait for a judge to decide if they could adopt Michael and Dayshawn.
If they didn’t follow the procedures for adoption, they found out, they could lose the boys, and they would likely be separated again. They could not let that happen. The couple carefully followed every step of the process. This was a long journey ahead of them, but they were ready.