Their First Year as a Family
It was after the four of them had spent a year together as a family that Stuart and Sara got the ball rolling toward legal adoption. This meant they would have to deal with the courts and wait for a judge to decide if they could adopt Michael and Dayshawn.
If they didn’t follow the procedures for adoption, they found out, they could lose the boys, and they would likely be separated again. They could not let that happen. The couple carefully followed every step of the process. This was a long journey ahead of them, but they were ready.
Reuniting Michael and Dayshawn
Keeping the boys together was becoming a priority for Sara. Either she and Stuart would have to adopt them, or they would have to be reunited with their parents. But they did not know how the judge's decision to keep the boys together would pan out for their family. Would they be adoptive parents? Or would the boys get to go home? She said she still felt hesitant about adopting an older child, but the feelings were fading away.
Getting to know Dayshawn, Sara found he defied every stereotype about foster teens. She said he’s the most empathetic and compassionate person she knows with a personality that lights up every heart. He’s a social butterfly who welcomes each foster child who comes to the family.
Loving Dayshawn and Michael
The love the two brothers shared convinced the couple to keep them together. But it was also Dayshawn’s ways that motivated them. One time when a new foster child came into their home, Sara overheard Dayshawn. He whispered into the new boy’s ear that he knows this is scary. When he went to his first home he was scared too.
But he assured the boy that he was now safe, cared for, and Dayshawn promised that no one would hurt him. "I’ll be your buddy," Dayshawn reassured the little boy. He melted their hearts on a daily basis. Not making the decision to adopt was becoming unimaginable. Sara felt too much love for those boys to make any other decision.
Patience
As they engaged with the adoption process, they soon found that patience is their number one ally in dealing with waiting for an outcome. It took much longer than Sara had bargained for. It took six months just to get the wheels in motion. It went on for years, not months. They were waiting to know if they would have an official family, and the boys were also waiting excitedly to know that they had a permanent home.
The anxious wait was a roller coaster of emotions. They didn’t know what was going to happen. The winds of change flew back and forth between Sara and Stuart adopting the boys, and them being reunited with their birth mother. This went on for months, then years, and Sara and Stuart tried to prepare themselves for every possible reality. Sara noted that being a foster parent has given her the gift of patience.
Preparing for the Long Haul
All they could do was wait patiently. Dayshawn was now a teenager, and Michael was growing tall. It would have been less complicated to adopt only one child, but that was not their fate. Even with just one child, the adoption process is long and drawn out, so we can't imagine the hurdles that were thrown at this family.
As they waited, they found a silver lining. The four of them were becoming a family unit. As time went on, it only served to draw them closer together, and the boys were happy as could be living together as a family team. Things were going well, even as they were forced to wait.