The Circle of Safety
The only important rule about the circle of safety is that you have to be fully honest and forthcoming. No one gets punished, no matter what they reveal, but there will be consequences against any family member who fails to disclose the truth. In 2016, Smith told Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show.
“[In the circle of safety, the kids are] allowed to tell us everything that they did, and they can’t get in trouble… The rule is, if we find out after the circle of safety that there was something you didn’t say, there was hell to pay.”
A Father's Message
Will’s message to his children is that they have to learn how to deal with their own lives on their own terms. This is especially true with children of extremely wealthy parents, who are often seen as privileged and lacking of character. The iconic Fresh Prince of Bel-Air star claimed that “The way that we deal with our kids is [that] they are responsible for their lives…
Our concept is as young as possible, give them as much control over their lives as possible. And the concept of punishment – our experience has been [that] it has a little too much of a negative quality.”
Love and Encouragement
In-addition to their lax approach to discipline, Will and Jada also highly encourage transparency and authentic communication in their household. The two loving parents opened what they refer to as a “circle of safety,” where each member of the family gets to talk in an honest way without fear of judgment or punishment.
The Smith parents did this In-order to maintain an environment where everyone can talk to each other openly, something which is quite lacking in many households and relationships today.
Sharing isn't Necessarily Caring
Although the idea is certainly commendable, there are many things that children don't want to share with their parents for various reasons. It didn’t take long for the Smith's to realize that forcing their children to share everything about their lives might backfire horribly.
Will admitted later that having his fifteen-year-old daughter, Willow, share her deepest thoughts and feelings, was a bit too much for your average dad to listen to.
Father and Daughter Boundaries
During his interview with Jimmy Fallon, Will explained to the host, “As a father, you do not want a circle of safety with a 15-year-old daughter. You do not… I’m like, ‘Baby, you need to start lying!’”
While they were being honest with each other, the A-list actor also told the truth to his daughter and asked her to talk about certain subjects exclusively with her mother Jada. He joked in the interview, “[I’m like,] ‘Nope! You and your mom can talk about that one!’”