Good news for people that would rather be svelte in the rear – death is a great way to lose weight. These two headstones tell the truth, even if they are missing an apostrophe to make them grammatically correct. Skeletons are well-known for their shapely behinds, even if they are often the best part.
Sadly, the gluteus muscle fades away just like the rest of the body, which means they certainly do lose weight, just not in that way. Or, maybe, these two people were always inserting themselves into other conversations, and now they have no way to do so.
Against All Odds
Women are known for a lot of good things, but being quick in the bathroom is not one of them. Especially if these are young women, who typically spend a lot of time doing their hair and makeup. And trying to fit four women into one bathroom sounds like the premise for a great reality show.
This parent knew how hard it was, and was rightfully proud of the fact that their house was filled with love despite it. It’s no surprise that’s the thing they want the world to remember them for. Raising four kids is hard enough, but doing it with one bathroom is taking things to a whole new level.
One Way Ticket
This headstone looks like something straight out of a haunted house. It is both spooky and hilarious, although we are not sure exactly what they were going for. Did they mean that if you enter the grave you would never be able to come out? Or are they talking about entering death? Because there really is no coming back from that one.
If they were talking about entering an occupied grave, the warning wasn’t really necessary, and if they’re talking about avoiding death, well most people would if they could. Either way, this headstone is unforgettable, even if doesn’t make much sense.
Classic Deadly Poems
If you think you've ever gotten mad that a package wasn't on time, just think about the tale of Lester Moore. He was a Wells Fargo office clerk who was shot dead by an enraged customer when the package was delivered damaged. It still happens today, but we imagine it was even more common back when this headstone was created.
The irate customer used a .44 pistol and dumped four shots into poor Lester, resulting in his death. Did all tombstones from the nineteenth century have pithy poems written on them or just this one?
Some Things Never Change
A lot of people post on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or other social media sites with the hope of getting attention – likes, hearts, shares, reposts, and on and on. Some people decide to do it even after they've shuffled off this mortal coil with a fancy headstone.
The name “John Doe” gives us a little bit of pause, seeing as how it's the name for someone that doesn't have a name; this is probably just a mock-up of a headstone that someone came up with. If you're sick of social media, this is the kind of thing that you'll love.