Howdy, cowboys! We take it that you’ve seen our article about things you can only see in the Lone Star State and now you’re back for more. Well, boy, are you in for some Texas-style fun! From unique cattle to foods you can only find down south, here are some more things Texas has in store for you.
Booming Bats
This picture could easily have been taken in Transilvania with all those bats around. But it was actually taken in Austin, Texas, where you can find the largest urban bat colony in the world.
Everything really is bigger in Texas, and that applies to bat colonies as well, apparently. This enormous one has even turned into a tourist attraction, showcasing its numerous Mexican free-tailed bats in and out of their house under the Congress Avenue Bridge.
69
You have to be able to read that pretty quickly if you were to catch the small print at the bottom, especially if you’re driving at 69.
We guess you would think twice about that speed limit as usually they are rounded up to the nearest 5 or 10. This is the type of sign that's funny for sure, but more than that, we're scared it poses a danger for anyone driving that road. We hope it'll be removed.
The Alamo
No one takes the Alamo more seriously than the average Texan. The battle includes the Alamo Mission being surrounded and laid under siege by Mexican troops. After a 13-day siege of the area (modern-day San Antonio), Texas triumphed and became its own republic.
But this picture isn't a product of time travel. It's a reenactment of the battle, the likes of which Texas holds at least once a year. And in Texas — you go big or you go home. Even when you reenact a battle from 1836.
The Waterworks
If you thought the Texas roads are overwhelming, wait until you see this waterpark. The place is called Das Schlitterbahn, and there is nothing German about it except for its name (which translates into "slippery road").
This massive opened in 1979 and has been a local favorite ever since. Especially during the unforgiving Texas summer heat. Schlitterbahn has several locations around Texas where people from all over the state can take a dip or a slide (or both) when they're in the mood for a splash.
Road Rage
The ingredients you'll need for getting the picture below are as follows: the Texas love of firearms, big cars, and military history. Now mix it all together in a bowl and stick it in the Texas weather for a while. Voila!
When Texas law allows for the open carry of firearms legal in the state, having people towing military-grade artillery behind their pickup trucks is only a matter of time.
The Streets Must Be Very Clean
"Don’t mess with Texas" is not just a cowboy phrase. It was, in fact, coined by TxDOT (the Texas Department of Transportation) as part of the municipality's anti-littering campaign. It even went as far as federally registering it as a trademark!
This isn't the only Texas sign on which you'll find that warning. After all, with a fine that high, you want everyone to know what the repercussions of their actions are.
So Welcoming
Not exactly the warmest welcome sign we've seen. What happened to southern hospitality, Texans? We're sure there's plenty to see but wherever this sign is, we'll definitely pass on visiting that specific area.
Maybe this is just a way of keeping troublemakers at bay but we're not taking any chances. Thanks, but no thanks!
Bluebell or Bust
A Texan would feel like a fish out of water going through a supermarket in a different state looking for some Bluebell ice cream. This ice cream brand was founded in Texas in 1907 and has been a local favorite ever since.
The brand can only be found in Texas and a few neighboring states, as are some of its signature flavors. So if you're ever in the mood for some moo-llennium crunch or southern blackberry cobbler, get ready for a road trip down south.
Football Is God
You might think you're looking at an official NFL stadium. But you'd be wrong. Football is almost a religion in Texas, and this shrine of a stadium actually belongs to the Allen High School football team.
Yes, this is a high school property you're looking at. The stadium, named Eagle Stadium, serves as the playing field. The place was built at the cost of $60 million, can seat 18,000 spectators, and isn't even the biggest of its kind in Texas.
Meat-Lover's Paradise
Texas BBQ has made a name for itself as a celebration of the holy union between meat and fire. It's a hunter's dinner in all of its primal glory.
And it's never a matter of a single steak sandwich. Oh no. This is a multiple-participant event. Bring your friends, bring your sister, bring that mumbling drunk you always see by the stop sign. There's plenty of food to go around in this festival of singed meat.
Monumental Monument
Most have you have probably visited the Washington monument. But what about the San Jacinto Monument? It's located on the outskirts of Houston — the battlefield of the San Jacinto Battle.
The Texans won the battle and immortalized the victory with this huge monument. And if it looks huge it's because it is. Because Texas has to one-up everyone and everything. Just look at the tiny-little cars for comparison!
Local Pride
No one knows more about being a patriot than Americans. And no one knows more about home-state patriotism than Texans. Take a look at this fella to see for yourself.
This picture might as well appear in his ID where his address should be. His huge truck, the Tex-Mex burrito he must be holding, and the rodeo he's headed to aren't enough. He's all Texas and he wants the world to know.
Snow-White
Texas and snow don't really mix. The Lone-Star State was blessed (or cursed, depending on your point of view) with temperatures the like of which you can only have on the surface of the sun. This makes the occurrence of snow extremely rare. And when snow does come along, it doesn't really pile up or stay for long.
Since snow isn't very substantial in Texas, the population and infrastructure don't really know how to handle it. They just stay in, close the doors, make some hot chocolate, and wait for the 30 minutes to end.
Road Rage Must Be Crazy
Texas has big cars. Big cars call for big roads. Those big roads create some traffic and road engineering the likes of which you can't find anywhere else. The mega-intersection in this picture is called the High Five Interchange and it would take a seasoned Texan to navigate through it properly.
Those who venture into this mind-boggling maze will need to be extra careful with the lanes they choose and the exits they take. The wrong ones could take them places where no man has gone before.
Helping a Friend Out
The ultimate favor someone can do for a friend is to help them move. These two gentlemen holding the mattress in the back of this pickup truck have obviously proved themselves as top-notch friends to whoever it is that's moving.
We can only hope that what seems like a reckless joyride on a mattress was a little safer in real life. Maybe there was an invisible belt securing them or the mattress (or both) into place.
The Odd One Out
Texans like to go big. They have big steaks, big cattle, and yes — big trucks. It is almost imperative that you own a huge truck at some point in your life if you want to not be revoked of all of your Texas citizenship rights.
This little car in the middle obviously belongs to a tourist who didn't know any better. Has no one told him that in Texas you do as the Texans do?
The Wind In the Willows
These fans don't really help the temperatures drop in Texas. Very few things will really help the temperatures in Texas. These, however, do help a little bit because they produce power.
In turn, this power will be used to operate air conditioners and indoor fans, which will make the at-home temperatures a little more bearable.
Will You... Hunt With Me?
Thinking of popping the question to your special Texas girl? Then this is the right place for you! You pop in there to get the ring and treat yourself and the special lady with a complementary piece of weapon!
It is the perfect pairing for the perfect pair. After she says yes, you two can go hunting together to celebrate. Or you can just open a bottle of wine if you're into that sort of thing.
Longest Horns
If there has ever been a cattle breed with a self-explanatory name, it's the Texas longhorn. Bred in Texas and featuring a hefty and long set of horns, calling it any other name would be insane.
The Texas Longhorn in this picture is called Poncho Via. It currently holds the Guinness World Record for the longest set of horns, which stands at 10 ft 7.4 in. That's wider than the face of the Statue of Liberty!
Hat House
This hat-wearing house can be found in Huntsville Texas, and it's even cooler than it looks. It was completely made out of donated or recycled materials so it's both eye-friendly and environment-friendly.
It is actually quite the tourist attraction — tourists, as well as locals, drive by this house all the time to take pictures of it. It shouldn't be hard as the massive cowboy hat towers over all the houses around it.
Population
The small town of Alpine, Texas is not to be confused with the Alpine mountain range. Lord knows the temperatures don't confuse the two. Anyway, this town has a sense of humor about its community.
Listing all its stats, it’s then added them into a total with some simple arithmetic. Who said anything thing about inflated numbers?
Big Nachos
This is an interesting statement as we know people come in all shapes and sizes.
Are they suggesting they will match the portion of nachos to the size of the customers behind? Either way, there is free wifi available so you can upload a picture of your nachos when they do eventually arrive.
Attention!
As you may have deduced from reading this list, firearms are relatively common in Texas. Shocking. We know. And you can never be too careful when you have all these guns around. This sign is a perfect example of that cautiousness.
With an air of humor about it, the owners of this establishment clearly don’t want people to take their firearms out of their holsters. However, if you are doing so to help them with someone trying to rob them, you will be thanked.
Texas Chandeliers
When Sia sang "I'm gonna swing from the chandelier" she probably pictured a chandelier that's awfully different than the one we're looking at right here. Most people do. But Texas people aren't most people.
When Texans picture any piece of furniture, they first imagine the animal it was probably made from. This means that their idea of a chandelier involves several pairs of antlers put together with a few lightbulbs screwed on.
Eye Eye Eye
This huge eyeball is scarier than anything else we've seen in Texas, and trust us when we say that we've seen it all. We saw snakes, alligators, and the summer temperature.
We get that this is some type of sculpture but it's very hard for us to understand why anyone would want to make this and then just put it outside to watch us all.
Scary Stuff
We know that cowboys are the good guys, but looking at this one, we have to admit we are getting a little bit scared. When you think of a cowboy you usually imagine a scruffy man entering a saloon in slow motion, sitting at the bar, raising his hat with a single finger, and asking for whiskey with an incredibly hoarse voice.
But the reality is not the wild wild west. Saloons are not as common, cowboys now have iPads, and sometimes a huge blown-up cowboy at a state fair is the only cowboy you get to see.
Bull
You really don't want to mess with bulls. If your common sense won't tell you that, then at least trust us when we do. Any bull is a bad idea, but this one bull is super speedy, so if you wish to cross that field alive, you better have some running legs on you.
We love this warning sign as it's getting across a serious message in a light-hearted way.
Seasons
Being season-appropriate is always nice. Especially when it comes with a positive twist on body image. It only makes sense that once all of our winter fat is gone, the spring rolls appear.
We wonder what they would have to say about summer. Now we just now we have to make sure we visit Texas during the summer, just because we're curious which seasonal signs we'll get to see.
Math
The restaurant in Austin strikes again with another hilarious sign. Nothing screams Texas more than a good old El Arroys sign. As children, everyone helps us solve our problems, but as we grow up we are told that as grown-ups, we need to be able to resolve problems that come our way.
This isn’t the first clever math pun we’ve seen but it’s the perfect word trick to bring a smile to the face of any passer-by.
Scandalous Snack
Some snacks have made it global. You know, like Cheetos or different kinds of potato chips, which can be found at pretty much any supermarket in the world. Other snacks are still confined to the borders of their home country or state. Just like the snack in this picture.
Bacon Bark, which apparently can only be found in Texas, is a snack made of smoked bacon coated with milk chocolate. Sounds awful. We'll take ten.
Stylish Grilling
Grilling your Texas meat can't be done on just any ordinary grill. It needs style, it needs class, it needs humor, it needs to scream Texas. It needs to look like a pink pig with drag-queen eyelashes. Just like the grill in the picture.
We have to commend the grill designer on their attention to detail. Especially the heart-shaped nose and the little dangly bucket on the front. Thank god the meat cooked on this grill is already too dead to understand it's being cooked in a version of its living self.
Finishing Touches
There are a few things you need to throw a party in Texas. First, you need a proper grill to cook the massive amounts of meat you got. Next, you need a lot of ice to chill everyone's drinks because the weather is not going to work in your favor on that front.
Then, you need to take care of beer. You can't have cowboys over and not give them beer. And finally, as a finishing touch, you need to get a couple of deer-horn bottle openers to open all the beer you got for your fellow cowboys. Now it's a party!
Texas Dance Hall at Your Door
This trailer titled Hello Trouble Hall is essentially a portable dance hall that can be driven to any location around Texas. Classic line dancing and square dancing are deeply engrained in the Texas culture. And you can't have a classic Texas dance party without a proper dance hall.
A proper dance hall needs to have the right kind of wooden floor. Sliding our cowboy boots across a different floor is just not the same. Feel like honky tonking for one night? Call the Hello Trouble Hall and get a dance hall wheeled into your backyard!
Too Hot
It doesn't take a lot of research to learn that it's hot in Texas. How hot? So hot that some people compare the local weather to the weather in hell. So hot that sweat boils on your skin before the sun evaporates it. So hot that a three-minute trip to the supermarket will make you regret not wearing sunblock.
It's so hot that any glass of ice tea turns into hot tea in thirty seconds. It's so hot that any swimming pool would eventually cook you alive. Apparently, it's also hot enough for the scorching road to melt your car tires right off.
Keeping It Safe
Responsible Texans know how to handle their guns but they also know how to properly store them. So yeah, Texas is where you can find many people with firearms strapped on their cowboy belts, but there's more to it. Real cowboys know that there's nothing sexier than being safe.
Judging by the massive size of those safes, it looks like the common Texan has quite the armory. Either that or they have totally different plans for those safes. Should we be scared or intrigued? For now, we are a little bit of both.
The Hitchhiker's Guide
There is an insane amount of correctional facilities in Texas. Maybe the heat is driving people out of their minds. Also, it may or may not have something to do with how fond Texans are of their firearms. Perhaps it's a combination of the two.
Anyway, when there are so many incarcerated people in one state, signs like this one become necessary and might even save some lives. So no hitchhikers, you hear?
No Checks
Texans like to do things the old-fashion way. That includes paying for things. It appears that some businesses in Texas still accept payment in livestock. We were wondering if anyone ever walked in and asked if they had change for a camel.
As old-fashioned as Texans can be, many of them don't accept payment in checks anymore. Checks are basically useless pieces of paper in Texas. But when you think about it, there are so many convenient wire transfer apps out there that would sooner or later turn checkbooks into ancient history.
Existentialism
Texas has such a huge landmass that it's almost the size of western Europe. It really is that big, and most of its people are concentrated in the big cities. It’s no surprise then that there are vast expanses of absolutely nothing.
22 miles is almost as long as a marathon, so that’s a lot of nothing. Once you do reach the next town, the locals would be happy to show you some local hospitality.
Suicidal Deer
Other than geckos and other reptilians, Texas fauna also includes deer. Actually, there are so many of them that they often end up on the road and spook innocent car drivers. This is why you can find signs such as this one on Texas roadsides.
We have never seen a sign like this anywhere else before. We are guessing the deer might not be aware of oncoming vehicles and step out into the road without looking, or even knowing to look. So, watch out and drive slowly for the next mile. Or generally speaking.
No Trespassing
Texas ranchers tend to be very possessive when it comes to their ranches. Which makes a lot of sense. What makes a little sense is the violent reaction that trespassing triggers in them. Signs like this one can be found in various locations around Texas, warning people not to wander off into someone else's land.
Well, that gets the message across loud and clear, though to do all three seems excessive. Just stay away, as you're not likely to get out alive, and if you do, you’ll still end up in court. It seems Texans have no mercy when it comes to trespassers.
Karate Psychic
They say it’s important to diversify your business, and the people of Texas know that well. Otherwise, we have no way of explaining this picture. This person has taken the diverse-business advice very seriously and decided to offer two services that you might not combine together naturally.
But then again, you can never know if psychic karate could be for you. For all we know, fighting people with your mind might be a lot less energy-consuming than a common martial art.
The Four Seasons
As kids, we are taught that a year has four seasons. Texas kids, however, might learn that in school but experience something completely different. Texas is in the South and so close to the equator, so the temperatures are high all the time. Texas essentially has four slightly different versions of summer and that's about it.
In some areas, it is hot and humid, while others have more arid conditions, but one thing is for sure, summertime in Texas is hot hot hot. Texas residents might be able to bake cookies in their cars by leaving the uncooked dough in the vehicle and waiting for the scorching sun to do its thing.
Speed Limit
Texas roads are tricky as they are inviting. With big cars and wide-open freeways, you could find yourself cruising at a dangerously high speed. Even if you don't consider yourself a speedster, you might want to look out for cars speeding around you. In fact, the cars speeding around you will make sure to honk their horns at you if they think you're too slow.
So if you feel like taking a trip to Texas anytime soon, remember to throw caution to the wind. You might get caught for speeding, but that will only be proof that you've embraced the little Texan within you.
Food Pyramid
Texans sure love their food. Lots of meat, ice cream, pies, and of course, Tex-Mex. A combination of Mexican food with a Texan twist. They Might as well establish a new Texas diet. Why not? There are all kinds of ridiculous diets these days, the Texan diet might as well be one of them. Who wouldn't want to eat like a cowboy?
A day's menu for someone on a Texas diet would include a piece of pecan pie with the morning coffee, Mexican food for lunch, and some grilled meat for dinner. Non-potato vegetables are optional. Expect Texan-sized portions and Texas-shaped steaks.
Existentialism
We saw how much landmass Texas had when we compared it to the map of Europe. It’s no surprise that there are vast stretches of absolutely nothing. 22 miles, is almost as long as a marathon, so that’s a lot of nothing.
But, on the bright side, there can be something very relaxing in driving in the desert for hours without seeing another human soul. It can definitely get thinking about life, just like this sign.
Here Comes the Bride
This bride is ready to get down to business, and she’s to ride a horse to get there. This Texan and her soon-to-be groom decided to play things a little differently.
Apparently, all of the wedding guests got to take a turn with the horse: The Lone Star version of pin the tail on the donkey.
Oversized Desserts
This coffee cake is just another perfect example of everything in Texas being larger than life. In fact, grandma gave him this piece of heaven to have all for himself. His cousins all got one of their own, too.
Hopefully, he remembered to brush his teeth after chowing down on those boatloads of sugar! Hey, at least it would be worth a cavity, right? Anything that’s loaded with cinnamon and sugar is definitely worth it…
Monster Trucks
Everything is bigger in Texas, including these monster off-roading vehicles. Heather is actually from Rhode Island, but she visited a friend down south and got caught up in the lifestyle. Cowboy boots with bikini tops on supersized trucks? Heather fell in love, and now, she lives in El Paso. Hey, do you blame her?
With those size tires, that truck could literally climb a wall, a tree, or something equally as cool. But Heather didn’t just move to Texas, that’s actually her truck, and she uses it for badass photoshoots like this one. You go, Heather!
No Country for Any Old Horse
Okay, no country for any horse in some areas of Texas. As you can imagine, tons of residents own horses for a variety of different reasons. And because of this, many of them ride their horses around town – both for leisure and transportation. But in some public areas, like ballparks and other similar areas. However, as you can see, the sign doesn’t only apply to horses.
Livestock also includes pigs, cows, and goats, and these signs make it clear that none of the above are allowed inside these fenced-off areas. But for some Texans, this sign means it’s an off-limits zone for them, too. No horse? No Texan.
Calamari a la Houston
People in Texas like to get creative when it comes to hosting parties for different occasions. This just so happened to be a party on a Friday, so naturally – no hot dog buns were allowed. This family decided that instead of mixing the dogs altogether, they’d tear them up and slap an identifying sign on them that reads, “redneck calamari.”
We aren’t entirely sure what that white stuff is in those bowls, but we’d probably be a bit wary of eating it. They easily could have just put out a can of squeezy-easy cheese and called it a day. After all, who doesn’t love squeeze cheese?
Texas Wedding Transportation
Why on Earth would you just do the same old, boring wedding ceremony where everyone is crammed into a church and sits there fighting off yawns for 30 minutes when you could do – this? Weddings in Texas are a lot more fun than most cookie-cutter ceremonies; we’ll give them that.
This couple went all out Texas-style with their vows, no holds barred. These bulls actually officiated the entire thing. And don’t worry, even though it seems like the bride’s dress may not survive around those horns, everything went beautifully.
Satan
Texas summers can be hot and uncomfortable, you could even say the heat is hellish. And if we're already talking about hell, that reminds us of an old nemesis of ours who just loves the heat - Satan.
It’s no surprise that Texans are making jokes about giving thier climate back to the devil in exchange for milder weather conditions.
Dancing Shoes
For those that live in Texas, sometimes they’ve got to deal with rules and regulations that are specific to them; and that northerners just wouldn’t understand. This sign wouldn’t phase too many tourists unless they were dressed to blend in with the rest of the cowboy hat, spur-wearing crowd. But bar owners got a little tired of all of the deep scratches they were getting all over their tabletops, thanks to their loyal patrons – so they decided to put up this sign that says it all.
They would have tried to ban spurs all around, but then they wouldn’t have any customers to serve drinks to!
The Four Seasons
Texas is in the South and so close to the equator, therefore making its temperature as hot as it gets.
In some areas, it is both hot and humid, while others have more arid conditions, but one thing is for sure, summertime in Texas is hot hot hot. Nothing can convey the state's weather better than a sign such as this one. Even Christmas and January are hot, just not as hot as the summer, and the "summerer."
Matching Outfits
This young couple loved camo so much that they decided to match their outfits for this charming photo. Unfortunately, they blended in a little too well with the décor.
We can't help but wonder what their wedding will look like!
Truck Pool
Everyone knows what it’s like to roll up to the community pool expecting to be able to jump into some nice, chilly water and relax, only to find every single one of their neighbors filling it to the brim. So, these guys decided to get creative and come up with a solution to beat the summer heat: they made their own pool.
What are the ingredients for a DIY truck pool? Well, first you need a truck, then, of course, a tarp, and some cool water and/or ice to fill it up. The bad news is, you won’t be diving or playing Marco Polo, but the good news is no one that you don’t want to invite can come into your pool!
Standard Texan Wear
Cowboy hats are one of the most popular accessories for those living in Texas. They can be worn by men, women, and children, and they can be dressed up (or dressed down) according to whatever the person is wearing. In fact, they’re so popular that some Texans have them custom-made with gold and other expensive materials.
With the wacky weather in the Lone Star State, it’s no wonder that so many of its residents love to keep a wide-brimmed hat around. They can be plopped right over frizz or poof on a bad hair day and no one would ever even know!
Goes Without Saying
Though it may seem surprising, the waterways of Texas are home to the American alligator. While rattlesnakes may get most of the attention, Texas’s other deadly reptile is just as common.
We can understand the importance and reason for the first part of this sign as alligators are experts at lurking stealthily beneath the lake’s surface. However, the second half of the sign is just puzzling. How would you annoy an alligator? Make fun of its teeth? Call it names? We can’t imagine what park rangers had to have witnessed before they decided to create this sign.
A Culture of Suing
The United States of America has a culture of suing, and this sign looks to lay out the series of events for the passerby.
You have been warned that you may get hurt and that your defense won’t stand up in a court of law as this will be used as evidence against you! We just love how this sign can predict the future for us. That way, we know it's not the future we want for ourselves and we can choose to not trespass.
Highway Patrol
Officers in Texas often have to chase down supersized trucks with off-road capabilities. Sometimes, it can all seem a bit intimidating. At least it did before the Highway Patrol decided to invest in this vehicle, which allows them to see over traffic coming from both directions, on all different types of terrain.
The other officers laughed at Steve when he originally suggested it, but now that they’ve tried it out, they’re completely on his side. Say hello to the Texas Highway Patrol Cruiser and keep this in mind the next time you’re driving through the Lone Star State. After all, would you want to turn around and see this thing chasing you?
That's Good Advice
When it comes to warning drivers of flood zones, governments have to get creative… and maybe even a bit poetic as this sign displays. This creatively-written sign warns drivers that the road in front of them can get easily flooded and can quickly turn deadly.
We hope that the catchy rhyming words will inspire drivers to heed the warning and turn around. Though most of Texas is pretty flat and dry, rain storms can quickly lead to deadly and sudden flash floods which can quickly wash away a road.
Agreed
This saying is an old one, but we have to agree that it's a good one. When you see a fence erected, it isn't always a nice feeling, so it's a good idea to make sure you help locals warm up to the idea by putting some type of text on it. Maybe we would have gone with something a little bit more funny and creative, but it's still a good choice.
Maybe we would have gone with something a little bit more funny and creative, but it's still a good choice.
Prison Yard Sale
This poor Texan got caught up in a burglary, and he’s looking to make some profit off of all of his goods before he’s got to do his time. He knew the cops would see some of the stolen stuff if he posted it online, so he decided to go the old-school route: he held a garage sale.
With the help of his girlfriend, he was able to sell off most of the stuff. Bryan ended up making enough money to have commissary for at least two years – which, if he gets out in half-time for good behavior, will be nearly all of his sentence.
The Texas School Lunch
You don’t have to be a Texan to appreciate all of the incredible beauty that’s oozing from this image. Most 90’s kids would recognize this bad boy as the “walking taco.” Contrary to what you may believe just by looking at this picture, this was actually one of the days everyone looks forward to lunch in school. And in Texas, they’ve got walking tacos on the regular menu in tons of schools, so these kids don’t have to wait until just one day for the cheesy and meaty goodness.
You can find these delicious bags of yum at plenty of food trucks around Lone Star State, too.
The Road
If there's one thing that is certain about life, it's that it is uncertain. Any person, book, or sign that is telling otherwise is either lying to you, trying to sell you something, or both.
Still, when driving around and trying to understand where you are headed, in the literal sense of the word, it would help to have a sign that tells where you actually are, rather than tell you a truth you don't really want to hear.
Gossip Table? Count Us In!
So this sign declares that there is a gossip table in front of us, but why does it say "Caution"? Doesn't this table know that we just love gossip? Now, if lying, or at least exaggerating the truth a little bit isn't permitted, then where is the fun in that?
Also, if we come before 7 A.M are we then allowed to make up wild gossip stories?
The 4-Wheelchair
This guy spent a long time inventing these upgrades for his chair. He wasn’t going to stop camping and enjoying the outdoors with his friends and family – but he didn’t know how he’d keep it up, either. Until he thought up this brilliant idea of giving his wheels off-road capability. Now, he can get around better than most of the people who have to walk through the rugged Texas wilderness.
He’s ready for all of the elements and whatever the weather’s got to throw at him. One thing’s for sure – you definitely don’t want to mess with this guy. We’re betting he could even make it up a mountain in that thing…
Filed Away Under Delicious
Only in Texas do you see someone turn an old piece of office equipment into a new way of grilling chicken in the backyard. Jay’s friend asked him to come to haul off some of his old furniture, but little did he realize he’d see it again the next week at Bill’s BBQ.
But hey, after he tried some of that chicken, he wasn’t complaining. In fact, he even called it “finger-licking” good. At least they aren’t being wasteful…
Holiday Fun
If you live in Texas, you may not necessarily get to have a white Christmas. Unless you go out of town, you may not be used to playing in the snow – instead, here you get fields full of tumbleweeds!
A bunch of people would be willing to trade their snowy, cold holidays for the warm, sunny ones in Texas. But hey, at least those people can make actual snowmen.
Pride in the Sky
In Texas, everyone seems to be in on some competition to outdo each other as far as their state pride is concerned. And if said Texans have money – well, you can bet they’re going to win that contest. Take this guy, who spent ridiculous amounts of cash having his house built to look like this.
He’s also got a private plane – and a pilot – that he uses to impress guests. And, okay, he definitely deserves to win. After all, wouldn’t you be pretty impressed by this display of over-the-top Texan pride?
Yeehaw, Cowboy
Now, if you were a bull in a rodeo, you would be extremely angry and want to destroy the humans involved, too. That’s because to get the bulls are rarely treated nicely so they kick and try to throw the rider off of their backs.
Hopefully, Texans (and everyone who still does this) can realize what a cruel and outdated practice this is so that these animals can live in peace. Surely there are other ways to flaunt your ego, boys.
Ultimate Texas Breakfast
For any tourist that’s been driving through the Lone Star State for nearly 8 or 9 hours, the Big Texan is a terrific option when considering stopping for any meal throughout the day. They not only offer a free, juicy 72 oz steak but they also offer a hot shower and a warm bed to sleep in. They’re a popular choice for many who drive through the area on a semi-regular basis.
But you don’t need to be in the area to want to come and enjoy a large, free steak. According to Yelp, the steaks are pretty delicious and worth the trip through town. The Big Texan is located inside the Motel Opry in Amarillo, and their food is nationally acclaimed.
The Texas Ride Through
Anyone that owns a fast-food restaurant in the Lone Star State has to realize that they’re going to have a bit more than just the average car in their drive-through. In fact, Sonic’s are built a little differently and can actually accommodate a horse better than just any drive-through window.
The people who ride these horses were on their way to a nearby trail when they decided to stop in for some chili cheese tots and a blueberry slushy with candy. It’s all fun and games until the horses leave something behind for the next people to pull into those spots.
Fancy Dog
Any self-respecting Texan knows how to prepare a family feast quickly and efficiently. Take this good uncle who is cooking up dinner for a large and rowdy bunch. He needed to think fast and come up with a way to cook several hot dogs at once, and voila—the rake came into play.
Northerners would probably shudder at the thought of eating a hot dog that had been cooked at the end of something that’s used to gather dirt on the ground, but these southerners don’t seem to mind at all. Then again, they’re probably all pretty drunk from those tallboys, so maybe that’s why?
All That Glitters
Cheerleaders typically decorate themselves with these, shimmery pompoms. There is no way anyone is going to be looking anywhere else but at all of that glittering décor.
These girls look like they’re dressing up to be ornaments on an enormous Christmas tree.
Trespassing
If there's anything that this sign proves is that you really don't want to trespass while in Texas. Unless, of course, you want to meet your maker.
We know that he’s got peppers and potatoes for sale, but other than that, we’re as lost as the next guy. You want to do what with those potatoes, sir? It seems as though Google doesn’t work around here.
Lone Star Outhouse
Some things that you can imagine being “bigger” in Texas are amazing – steaks, margaritas, parties. But then there are some things that you probably don’t want to think about too much – as is the case for this outhouse.
Nice job, Jack. Now, you should probably get out of there before the guy who’s going to use that shows up.
Happy
There is indeed a town called Happy in Texas, and they know how to sell themselves. So, as they say, turn that frown upside down and get smiling.
There is nothing more important to the residents of Happy than being happy and making visitors feel welcome. Is it really possible that a whole town would be without a frown? Probably not, but we'd like to imagine that it can be.
Big Nuts
Here we go with another case of everything being super-sized down in Texas. This guy proudly stands next to the biggest pecan in the world. Where on Earth would they think that having the largest pecan would be an accomplishment worthy of display? Why, Texas, of course. Okay, you do have to admit, it’s pretty impressive.
This guy was actually kind of hoping that there was something edible at this little stop in Seguin. But as it turns out, the only thing this tourist trap had to offer was this enormously sized pie ingredient. Hey, if the pecan isn’t already in a sweet, delicious slice of pie that we can have, we don’t care about it.
El Arroyo Style
When we think of Austin, Texas, we usually think of El Arroyo. The Mexican restaurant was first established in 1975 and is known for its funny signs. These signs are indeed something you can only find in Texas.
Now, when a Texan goes on a 4-hour car ride, they know it is their chance to put on their favorite music and sing like there's no tomorrow.
Wedding à la Texas
Weddings are done big in the Lone Star State, too, and Becky and Junior weren’t going to be the exception. Texans love to play all sorts of wedding games – including the tradition of shooting plates that are tossed into the sky.
It's called “skeet shooting,” and yep, just like in the movies, family members launch ceramic plates into the sky while the groom (and bride, if she chooses) blow them into smithereens. Hey, at least they aren’t shooting at anything that’s alive, right? At least, not during this ceremony.
Belly Flop
In some areas of Texas, it can be extremely hot – and dry. So, you can imagine that people would be pretty stoked when it rained so hard that it left a giant mud pit to play in. This woman is testing the waters and using her stomach to break her fall. Everyone takes turns jumping in and rolling around, and they look like they’re eager to get back in!
But if it seems as though a lot of this woman’s family members have a concerned look on their faces, it’s because the mud looks a little red. And no one is trying to dive into a pool of blood.
Trot-thru
In most cases, people working at drive-thru windows at a fast food joint won’t let you walk-thru to pick up your burger – no matter how much they should appreciate the fact you didn’t drink and drive.
But something’s different when you’re on a horse. We wonder if they had any apple slices for the handsome transportation.
Grabbing Some Cowboy Grub
Everybody needs to grab a bite to eat, even if they spend most of their time out on the range. It looks more likely that those brochachos are about to pull out some sidearms and stick up the store, but they look a little too official for such a thing – just look at those crisp white shirts and white hats. Perfect for spending a lot of time in the hot sun.
We wonder if there's anything that this cowboy-friendly drive-through can offer their rides. Do horses like ice cream? They're herbivores, so probably not...but they drink milk, right? Maybe they wouldn't mind it.
It's for Rattlesnakes, I Swear
Things are good in Texas. You can just carry a big honking gun wherever you want. You can just be driving down the street with this big machine on your back, and people will hardly give you a second glance. Unless they're from one of those northern states, that is.
Now, realistically, there are a lot of dangerous animals in Texas that could actually hurt somebody. We have personally witnessed a good old boy shoot a diamondback (which are quite dangerous) that was getting too close with a rifle as if it was an everyday occurrence.
A Pizza Big Enough for Everyone
Texas might not be the biggest state (Alaska holds that record) but it's still the second biggest and the people who live there love to talk about the size. It's not hard to make a pizza the shape of your state, but one in the shape of Texas is big enough to feed a family of four and even have leftovers.
Looks like a pretty classy pie, too – you've got the classic pepperoni, some greens (peppers? It's a little difficult to make out), a nice bit of white cheese, and a cracker crust that looks done to perfection. Invite us next time, we'll bring cookies.
Is Dr. Pepper Okay?
For most of the country – indeed, most of the world – when it comes to cola there are two options tops. Not so in Texas. It's the land of the true king of the cola crown, the delicious Dr. Pepper.
If you walk into a Texas restaurant, there's a good chance that you won't be able to find Coke (head east to get some) or Pepsi (head...north? West? Somewhere else) but you're sure to get the good doctor. It's because Dr. Pepper comes from Texas. Yes, Dr. Pepper is fine.
What Truck?
Texas gets a lot of guff for being very...full of itself. The people love to talk about how they’re from Texas. Like the person who drives this truck. Not only is there a pair of false steer heads on top, but the front has a huge set of longhorns, too.
And then there's the lion, which is...holding something in its mouth that you don't usually see there. Sure, other states might have some of that pride, but not like this.
Just a Bit of Shopping
This looks like the kind of guy that can watch the beef go from chewing on grass to sizzling on the grill in a single day.
That fresh beef is a great bonus of living in Texas, and you also get to see fellas like this guy, who is jangling with spurs on his boots, a big iron on his hip, and a well-worn hat keeping the sun out of his eyes. Whether he's shopping for tomorrow's dinner or he wants to make sure his product is reaching store shelves.
Gotta Get Around Somehow
Texas is the place for pickup trucks, and white pickup trucks are the Texans' favorite. Is it because it's so hot there? Could be. Still, this means some people go to great lengths to get something that fits in with the crowd.
Somebody decided that it would be a good idea to paint the back half of a Camry with what looks like white house paint before heading to Walmart. There are a few more mods, as other pictures may reveal, but they don't really answer any questions.
Enough for Later
People start to panic when gas shortages hit. Some people try to ride it out, but others...well, they do what this guy is doing and start hoarding. Those big trucks need a lot of fuel, you know.
This guy thinks he's being clever by filling up a bunch of buckets...but does he know that gas goes bad after about six months? Maybe he needs a lot of it, and he's just prepping for the week. It's not the worst thing ever, but it's still a bit gauche.
Not Gonna Work Out, Bud
We don't have a lot to say about this unique picture, but we imagine it's not the kind of thing that happens only in Texas. Anywhere that has pigs and dogs has a relatively high chance of happening. Unfortunately, it will probably result in nothing more than a pig that has a big bite mark on its face and an angry dog.
Still, we applaud the pig for at least giving it a shot. There's a Wayne Gretzky quote about something like this, but this probably isn't what he was thinking about. We hope not, anyway.
Taking a Sip on the Side of the Road
There are plenty of armadillos in Texas – so many that you're bound to see some flattened on the road if you spend a week or so there. It doesn't matter how much armor you have, a truck is going to squash you.
This 'dillo looks like he's just having a little kip and a sip from his favorite brew, but it's more likely that someone saw this piece of roadkill and set it up with an empty can to give drivers something to double-take at. Hard to tell what he's drinking, but it's knocked him right out.
The Pinnacle of Art
This is it. You can stop looking. You've found the most perfect thing in the entire world. Who knew that the peak of human creation would be a cow, dressed as an astronaut with cow-like patches on the suit, holding a Texas flag, and standing on a piece of fake rock? The words on the bottom say that “Houston, we have landed.”
Are there any other states that would have the brains to come up with something like this and put it in an international airport? We say no.
We Don't Know Either
There are lots of big cities in Texas, and one of them is Austin – according to the rest of the state, it's the weirdest place within the border. This picture is a pretty good example of why someone might think such a thing.
In case it isn't clear – and it shouldn't be, let's be real – that's a person riding a donkey, wearing a Chuckie Finster from “Rugrats” mask. Why? Where is this person going? What does he have on his plate? We will never know.
Just a Mockery of Terror
Thankfully, this isn't the kind of thing that you actually see happening much in Texas, but that doesn't mean you can't recreate the event using some statues and dolls. A baby shoved into the mouth of an alligator is usually cause for alarm, but there's no real danger here.
Why someone would set this up is beyond us – likely just some kids who wanted to have some stupid fun. It's pretty clear that the alligator wasn't designed to have a baby in its mouth. Someone added the doll later on because they thought it would be funny.
You'll Need More Than a Flyswatter
Everything is bigger in Texas, they say, but that isn't always a good thing. Sure, it might include steaks, freedom, fun, and beaches, but apparently, it also means blood-sucking insects. This seems like the kind of sign that is truly necessary if you've been in the area for more than an hour or two.
Apparently, this sign keeps getting stolen, and the person in charge has no idea why. It's quite a unique little warning, so we can imagine that a lot of people might want to have it in their room.
Somebody Is About to Have Quite the Fiesta
Piñatas are a classic party addition that comes to us from south of the border. You hang them from a tree, grab your favorite whackin' stick, and pound that thing until candy comes out. Or whatever you want to fill it with.
They're fun for kids and adults, and this truck looks like it's about to be handing out fun for one party after another. Maybe this person works at a party supply store, or he's a tester for piñatas. You know. Quality control. Or, maybe they are planning the fiesta to end all fiestas. We wouldn't mind an invite.
The Fairy Tale Was Real
There is an old story about a woman who lived in a big boot, but it turns out it's just real life in Texas. This big boot home looks like it has enough space to house at least the old woman, and she could probably fit a couple of kids in there, too.
We don't like to think about just how much storage space is available, or about the curvature of the ceiling. But, we do like to think that there's a nice, big patio on the roof.
No, I Swear, It Was That Big
Fish sizes are a common game to play if you like to be on the water. You might have caught a big pike or a heavy trout, but you've never caught anything like this.
We wonder what this titanic sea creature is used for – the truck it's held on doesn't look like the kind of thing that gets many miles, so it might just be a restaurant's eye-catcher or something for a marina or wharf. At least the fish is having a good time – just look at that smile. Catch this fish, and you're bound to be the talk of Texas.
Interesting Choice of Words
Yes, it's true – even in the golden land that is the great state of Texas, the roads aren't perfectly straight. They still have little bumps in the surface of the asphalt that cars have to handle, and if you're going too fast, they can be dangerous. But, for some reason, they call them road “humps” instead of bumps.
Maybe it's just a local thing, or maybe it's this one weird guy at the Texas road department that wanted to be a little different. We guess that's okay.
Everybody Eats Well in Texas
If you go to Texas, you can be assured you'll leave full. Incredible barbecue, tacos, fish, fresh beef – it doesn't matter what you like to eat, it's good in Texas. That even seems to be true for the local wildlife as long as this picture isn't distorting the truth.
Of course, actually finding a fish that has swallowed an entire baby alligator is probably rare in real life – especially since an alligator of that size is about as long as the entire fish. Maybe it's just the head? Or maybe it's just something that a few people put together.
That's Quite Specific
There's plenty to see in Texas, and a good deal of it is the kind of thing you can't see anywhere else. This picture includes the world's largest cedar rocker. Not the largest chair. Or even the largest rocking chair, but the largest cedar rocker.
The woman is there for scale, though we have no idea how big she is. But she looks to be of average height, meaning that the chair is big enough to seat even the largest pair of cheeks. Of course, you'd have to get up there in the first place, which looks a lot harder than normal.