We really are at a loss for words with this one. When will our heroic firefighters ever get to actually put out wildfires? It sounds to us like they have to spend most of their time dealing with calls so idiotic and outlandish they could have been made up by a middle-schooler.
Could you imagine spending over 12 weeks at the fire academy, dreaming of saving lives, just to get a call like this at 3 am?
The Bobcat
Can cats actually get stuck on trees? We've heard arguments claiming both sides but we are still undecided. We can acknowledge that sometimes small kittens do need help when they find themselves up a very tall tree.
But if you've ever seen a bobcat you know they are anything but small! In fact, if you see a bobcat, there's a greater chance YOU may need saving. While they are not known to attack humans, being scared to death is always an option.
The Obligatory High School Party
When high schoolers hear that their parents are going to be out of town, an animalistic, ancient instinct takes over them and they know they must have a party. Of course, since they are still new to the idea of entertaining a large group of people, they don't always know how to do it right, but they are determined to get it done anyway.
The parents had quite the surprise waiting for them when they got back from their trip and we bet they vowed to never leave town again.
Blood, Sweat, and Tears
That's a prime candidate for employee of the month right there. Did we say month? We meant year. Just gotta keep on working and making sure we meet deadlines!
This type of commitment to your job can not be bought. Of course, even dedication can turn out to be a bad thing, as this story teaches us. Maybe she just didn't understand the severity of the situation?
Watering the Plants
Losing your house to a fire can be hard. But losing both your house and your plants in a fire would just be too much, which is why one must at least make sure to water their leafy babies before they leave them behind.
But seriously, if she already had water at hand, maybe she could have tried to help the fireman put out the fire? Just a thought...
A Hornet's Nest
All of this buildup, just for a little wasp? If it were a coffee shop we'd say this sounds like a storm in a teacup to us, but since it's a pub, let's settle on a tempest in a beer bottle?
We don't know if it was a scared customer who made the call, or the owner who felt the wasp was scaring away clients, but we do know it must have been hilarious to see a bunch of firefighters tackling that tiny creature.
Please Like and Share
Sure, we could rant about how people these days only care about likes and shares, but you have to admit you'd pay to see that photo. We bet she knows her angles and that along with the fire and the firefighter, it must have been an awesome pic that got her tons of likes, maybe even fire-related brand deals!
Her house was already burning down, so why not seize the moment, make the best of a bad situation, turn those lemons into lemonade?
Have You Tried the Back Door?
It could have happened to any of us, sometimes it is the simplest solution that seems to completely escape our mind as we are trying to tackle a big issue. An outsider's perspective can always help. Still, maybe she could have called someone she knows first? Like, a neighbor who has a spare key to the front door?
Also, while it was useful in this case to have the back door unlocked, it really isn't recommended to leave any type of entrance to your home open...
Big in Japan
Cee-Lo is a popular dice game in Japan. Imagine playing Poker and realizing someone somehow cheated you out of your money. Wouldn't you want to catch them? Realize how they did it, at least?
But, in his effort to try and understand what happened in the game, he completely missed the fire that was destroying his house in real life. Maybe this manga artist can incorporate this insane story in his next comic book.
Kids Never Learn
This confession belongs to the kid and not the firefighters, who couldn't know that this child was a serial offender. Not only did he get his little hand stuck in a gumball machine once, but he also managed to get himself stuck in between bars of stairs the year after that.
At least, after the second time, he finally learned he should keep his head and hands to himself!
The Ramen Fiasco
Envision having to explain this fatal accident to your insurance company. What was the reason for the total obliteration of your house and everything you own? Ramen noodles, naturally.
Even more humiliating is knowing the firefighters who saved you probably share this shameful moment of your life with everyone they know, and they all have a good laugh about it. Maybe one day, you could laugh about it too.
Cutting the Cheese
We really are at a loss for words with this one. When will our heroic firefighters ever get to actually put out wildfires? It sounds to us like they have to spend most of their time dealing with calls so idiotic and outlandish they could have been made up by a middle-schooler.
Could you imagine spending over 12 weeks at the fire academy, dreaming of saving lives, just to get a call like this at 3 am?
Everything-Fighters
Firefighters, it turns out, have a lot more in them than just putting out fires. They can save kittens from trees, help people who locked themselves in or out of their house, and apparently, also, unclog toilets. Shouldn't we have changed their name to "everything-fighters" by now?
Only seems fair, as they do end up winning the fight against many different problems that are not fire-related whatsoever.
Owl Prowl
Not every call should be answered and not every whim should be satisfied. We assume this old lady was truly worried for the owl but has someone tried explaining to her that owls live in trees? That they have wings and can fly away to a different tree if they want to?
Owls are known for their wisdom, while we, humans, not so much... and this story proves this point perfectly.
A Fire in One's Mouth
What's the difference between a firefighter and a dentist? Sounds like a setup for a joke, right? Well, the punch line is that some people actually don't know the difference.
Like this person, who called the fire department desperate for some help for his aching tooth. Maybe he just dialed the wrong number? Anyway, we do hope he got that toothache taken care of.
The Kitten That Could
Was there a terrible misunderstanding on this call? Like, when the man said "Please, come fast, my kitten bit my finger," did the dispatcher hear, "My kitten started a fire?"
There's no other possible explanation as to why firefighters would find themselves with a man and a kitten who isn't even stuck in a tree! Also, how bad can a kitten bite really be? And how on earth are firemen supposed to help with that?
A 4 AM Crisis
What was this lady doing up so late at night? Is 4 am really the time to be relentlessly looking for the tv remote? Maybe not finding it is a sign that one should go to sleep instead of waking up the fire department?
Was it really that urgent to stream old episodes of "Friends" again? We are sure it could have waited for the morning, or at least until she found the remote herself...
What They Don't Teach You in Business School
Some people are book smart, but street dumb. Or in this case business smart, but toaster-oven dumb. We are sure there were many classes in college that were much harder than operating a toaster oven.
We didn't pass 9th-grade math, but we still know how to heat a nice meal for ourselves using a device that was invented over a century ago. We can only assume that along with the office, this guy burned a couple of bridges...
Not by the Book...
When in danger, please listen to whatever the professionals who are there to save you tell you to do. Even if they don't specifically say something, try and use common sense. Don't literally run into brick walls, or burning houses.
No, not ever for that "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" copy you got from your grandma. We know it's dear to your heart, but magic won't help here.
Kids These Days
Older generations like to tell stories about how back in the day, they had to do everything by themselves, while today almost everything we need is done for us. Getting used to calling others whenever something's wrong can really impair our problem-solving skills.
The gals couldn't even conceive of using the escalators the same way that they would use stairs, and they were too busy getting help to notice what everyone around them was doing.
Meowing Up the Wrong Tree
Envision yourself walking about, when all of a sudden, you hear a strange sound from above. You look up and discover a tiny little kitten meowing at you from a tall tree. A feline in distress? You can help!
Unless, of course, you can't and you find yourself stuck in the tree with the cat, waiting for the firemen to come and save you both. What can we say? No good deed goes unpunished.
Too Hot to Handle
When your job is to fight fires, no day is like the other. One day you'll be in the forest, and the next you might be at a school. There are always new challenges and new blazes to defeat. Unless, of course, it's a false alarm.
This motivated fighter showed up at a steam train museum just to find out it wasn't the train that was blowing off steam, but a bunch of people having a huge party in their birthday suits.
Everything for a Fellow Fighter
Doctors and nurses can get sick, lawyers can get sued, and firefighters can find themselves needing help putting out a fire. These are just the fact of life. Despite being a trained professional, this Reddit user could not save his car without a little help from his friends.
Did we say little? This guy wanted every available truck to be there to save his poor car... It probably wasn't really necessary, but we bet his friends from the department complied.
Fueling the Fire
When things go south, it is usually advisable to take a deep breath, and count to ten before you do or say anything you might later regret. But this is easier said than done. When this husband found out his wife was seeing someone else, he did not wait for things to cool down.
In fact, he decided that things should heat up. He probably wasn't expecting his little bonfire to turn into a full-blown fire that would warrant calling some help.
Screaming for Help
It is a known, universal truth that ceramic dolls are scary, evil little things. For some reason, though, some people still insist on displaying them at home. This poor firefighter was just trying to put out a blaze when he came face to face with the face of this creepy toy.
He did what any reasonable person would do — scream at the top of his lungs. This must have been the most horrifying thing he has ever seen on the job.
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
This heroic Reddit user and his team got to a house, ready to put down a huge fire. But, turns out, there was no fire to be found, unless you count the hot content the poor guy they bothered was watching.
There really isn't a less convenient time to be bothered, but maybe next time the guy should close his windows? Anyway, we hope the firefighters ended up finding the people that actually needed help.
A False Alarm
Is there such a thing as being too alert? On the one hand, keeping your eyes open is always a good idea. On the other, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and steam coming out of a vent is just steam coming out of a vent.
Keeping the fire department busy with useless calls and false alarms can cause an adverse effect — they won't be available when they are really needed because they had to go and stare at steamy vents.
A Curious Cat
We will never know what happened to this cat. Was he killed by his own curiosity, as the story goes? Maybe he is still alive somewhere out there, catching mice and living his best life?
And maybe... just maybe, the cat never existed? Either way, this is definitely a curious case. Next time, save it for the internet sleuths, not for the fire department! When they figure it out, we'd love to know the answer.
Finding Keys
When people train to be firefighters they imagine they would have to put themselves in risky situations, but they are ready and willing to do so. They will do anything to help others in need.
But, sometimes, it's just another day on the job and someone in need does call, but the situation is far from risky. While helping an old lady find her key is less than exciting, at least no one was in actual danger.
Much Ado About Nothing
They say it's better to be safe than sorry, but sometimes trying to be too safe means you'll end up being sorry. The guy who started this whole ordeal because of a simple sizzling toast probably had a lot of people to apologize to.
Nobody likes to be woken up in the middle of the night, we bet the whole building gave this guy a hard time for a couple of weeks, and he definitely deserved it.
His Hamster Is Cooked
Anything and anyone can start a fire, even hamsters. We suspect this one didn't do it on purpose, as it was probably his cage that caused the actual damage. Did the owner miss that day in school when everyone was told not to keep hamster cages next to the oven?
We're gonna be honest with you, we doubt the hamster survived this terrible accident. On the bright side, maybe the owner learned an invaluable lesson about his interior design choices.
What Goes Around Comes Around
“Caddyshack” is a favorite of comedy movies, but this person took it a little too far. This is a classic case of good old Karma. They say what you sow is what you reap, or in this situation what you burn is what will burn your entire lawn.
This might also prove to be an important lesson about not taking matters into your own hands. What about trying, for example, to hire an exterminator?
Save Them From the Influencers
People always want to share fun pictures of themselves on social media, but sometimes they don't know what they're getting into. Influencer moms have gotten a bad rep just for that, but maybe it's entirely on them?
In this story, it seems the moms have no thought about the actual price they'd have to pay for one pretty picture. In this case, the price was exhaustion and being on TV for all the wrong reasons. They say there's no such thing as bad publicity, but we're still undecided on that one.
Doing It for the 'Gram
We know what people say about millennials, they only really care about one thing: avocados and great Instagram pics! It's hard to keep track, but millennials are indeed old enough to be parents these days, which is likely what caused the story below.
It started out like any other family Instagram photo: with matching outfits. It ended in a panicked mom and an annoyed firefighter who wanted to help people caught in fires, not influencers!
Trapped by Trees
It seems like a lot of the fire department's job is about being blamed by other people for what they clearly caused themselves. You'd expect there'd be a little bit more fire fighting involved.
Is tree fighting a profession? No? Maybe it should be? Especially since it seems no one cared enough to clear the terrible trees that trapped the poor semi-truck driver!
Alcohol and Burning Cars Don't Mix
Taking your jeep off-roading is one thing, but doing it drunk is quite another. Doing it on a ninety-degree day after a long drought is a recipe for a huge fire, which is just what happened.
The two drunk guys started a fire in the field, and then they figured that driving back over the flames would put them out, which didn't happen. The fire turned large enough to need help from another county, as well as the state police, which means almost certainly that those people responsible received hefty fines and possibly some jail time.
Makes Us Hurt Just Thinking About It
A splash pad is something that has lots of water hoses and fountains, and one child decided he would climb on top of some of the water features, despite there being signs telling people not to do so. Explicitly.
He tried diving into water that was only two inches deep, which is why the fire department and paramedics had to visit the water park, all to help out this child that, we are hoping, was perfectly fine and not hurt very badly.
A Very Important Fact at the End
Well, thank goodness that he and the cat survived – wait, was there anyone else in the building? Hopefully no. This not-too-bright person stored the gas for his home generator in open paint buckets inside his garage.
If he had stored them in closed containers, it would have been fine, but leaving them open allows the fumes to spread through the garage. When he tried to light his gas grill – inside the garage – all of the fumes ignited. Thankfully he lived, though “lived” is a pretty broad term. We hope he learned his lesson.
Stuck to the Chair
This firefighting family probably has lots of fun stories to trade, but likely this is one of the more interesting ones. And by interesting we mean gross. A guy was in his easy chair for so long – without even getting up to use the bathroom – that he was sort of...fused to the chair. Thanks to all his...leavings. Ugh.
We bet that members of a fire department are happy whenever a day goes by they don't have to rescue a child from a building, but every once in a while a nice cleansing fire sounds like a better option.
The Language Barrier
A firefighter is a pretty easy term to understand, but for those who don't speak English, it might not be perfectly apparent. So when a Chinese restaurant calls the department up to get rid of the ice covering the walkway, a few explanations have to happen.
They salted down the walkway, got some free egg rolls, and they all had a good laugh. Since they're often known as firemen (or women) in many parts of the country, the confusion is understandable, though did the restaurant owner really think they would bring fire and unleash it on some poor, unsuspecting ice?
Careful With Those Moving Parts
This little story tells us that even though firefighters have a lot of weight on their shoulders when it comes to saving people, there are also some much smaller jobs that are quite common. Chief among them, it seems, is helping people and pets extricate themselves from the mechanisms of reclining chairs.
If you've ever toyed around with one of those, you know that, yeah, people could get stuck in them pretty easily. We also hear that the firefighter has actually rescued a bird from a tree. How does that work? Do the birds not realize they can fly?
It's Called a Shower. You Should Use It
An orange glow sounds scary, (but not really) we get it. If you see anything suspicious, the safest route to take is calling someone for help, but maybe even this simple rule is bound to be abused by people who aren't that great at thinking.
We still wonder how could she have thought that a little bit of reflected light was an open flame? We mean, has she never been outside, but also never been to her own shower? We really need someone to explain this one to us.
Must Have Been Pretty High Def
A fire department in Regina, Canada once raced to the local Canadian Football League Stadium to put out what must have been a huge fire. It was fairly large, but it turned out to only be one of those burning log videos that they put on the big screen.
The BIG big screen. From a distance, we could see how this would get someone frightened. The person who called it in might have needed to take a second look but calling the fire department when you see fire shouldn't be something to discourage.
At Least He Got Caught
Waking up at three in the morning because of a fire alarm must be a pretty common occurrence when it comes to cities, but for this story, the trucks pulled up to a building that didn't have any fire whatsoever.
The robber probably thought he had the luckiest break of his life until he realized that the police would also respond to fire alarms. We can imagine he left the building carrying a television but didn't get very far.
There Better Be a Fire Next Time
As this list tells us, firefighters get called in for all sorts of things. They're probably all too happy to not have to deal with dangerous fires every single day. But when someone bothers the fire department because she simply couldn't use her nose to breathe... not many people would call that an emergency.
When the firefighters arrived they found a woman who...couldn't breathe through her nose. They told her they could take her to the hospital, but that was all. She didn't want to go to the hospital, so they left, probably muttering to themselves and shaking their heads.
What Was He Thinking
When winds start to pick it, people start thinking, or maybe they stop, you'll get to judge based on the following story:
Our guess is that since the rope wasn't holding him stationary, the wind could provide lift. But, what goes up must come down, and he did. Maybe next time when it's windy try to go to the park to fly a kite or do a little bit of parasailing. It sounds a lot safer.
Must Have Been One of Those Compact Cars
A fire department once got a call that a three-year-old girl had been hit by a truck. There were injuries. They raced to the scene and started sizing things up, only to get what might have been a wonderful surprise!
The motor vehicle in question was a small matchbox truck that her brother had thrown at the girl. There was an injury – the girl was bleeding from the forehead. We also wonder if the paramedics were able to give the little boy something to make him feel better after the awful punishment he very likely got.
That's Why These People Train
What does this mean exactly? Let us explain the details to you: Spraying that much moisture at such heat creates a whole lot of steam and fog, making it hard to see what you're aiming at. This guy developed a reputation for directing the powerful hose at those that don't require it.
In one case, a barn fire, he knocked a hose team down twice, soaked twenty to thirty firefighters, and even sprayed a whole bunch of bystanders. Well, hopefully, he gets better at it as he uses it.
This Is Called Lying
This woman understood that firefighters don't want to have their time wasted on things that are not... well, fires. She knew they wouldn't come and help her unless she made up a lie. We can tell from the other stories that they would have, so the joke (and a bill, most likely) is on her.
We bet they got really mad when they saw the raging fire was a small little puppy who needed some saving. But maybe it was a good surprise for them?
Wait Until This Person Finds Out About Cranked Windows
A lot of things are automatic nowadays, which means younger folk might not know how good they have it. Thus, when this person's battery died while driving, there seemed to be no way to escape.
They had to call the fire department. That's what the fire department does, right? Rescues people from cars. Turns out this person just needed to do a bit of manual work to get out of the car, as in just press a single button. Like, one button. Time to head to car class, friend. You'll learn how how to get yourself out of many situations.
“Sorry, a WHAT escaped?”
When you work at one place for thirty-five years, you pretty much see all that you can see. This story, however, is a once in your entire career story. What exactly is a fire department supposed to do about an escaped gorilla? Hose it down? It would probably enjoy that.
They likely assumed it would be best to let as many people as possible know about it because if you're driving down the street and there's a gorilla crossing the road, you want some backup. Or maybe the fire department was in charge of the city's banana supply.
If Only This Could Have Been Avoided
We love how coy the story is about what happened. “For some reason he put it near his private parts and it got stuck.” Yup, that's exactly what happened, and there are no other details that need to be divulged.
Men! Let this story serve as a warning if you happen to...put something near your privates that shouldn't be there. You don't want to go through the same ordeal of going to the hospital, having the fire department come and use a big, huge, loud, SHARP tool right near the affected area. Metal rings and private parts don't mix.
It's Like Turning Yourself Into a Bomb
There are legitimate reasons to siphon gas, such as getting some out of your mower, helping a friend refuel his car, or surviving in the apocalypse. Stealing gas from a car is not a legitimate reason.
The thing about siphoning gas is you have to suck it out with your mouth first to get the siphon going, and even if you're careful you can get some gasoline into your mouth. That's not good for you at all, but it's even worse if you have an open flame right next to your mouth. There's a reason you shouldn't smoke at a gas station.
What Do You Mean “A Bird Stuck in a Tree”?
Did this person actually call the fire department because they thought a BIRD was stuck in a TREE? That's like saying a cow is stuck in a grass field. That's where they want to be!
And sure, maybe the hawk could have gotten its claws stuck, but pulling one leg out just to get the other stuck, over and over again? C'mon, man. At the very least, the firefighters got a laugh out of it, the hawk wasn't in any danger, and the person who called it in got to learn a very important lesson about looking closer at things.
Honestly, He Should be Thankful
This poor guy got his leg damaged on a fence and the fire department had to come and rescue him, but if you read the story it's clear that things could have ended up MUCH worse. For everybody involved.
It's almost as if he should have thought about the risks of messing with a married woman sooner. Amazingly, people who jump out of windows naked and land straight onto fences tend to not think ahead that much. He's lucky it only a leg.
Sometimes People Deserve to be Screamed At
Go ahead and read that big block of text, you'll thank us. There, finished? Yeah, it was a longer read than you were expecting, but you have to know all the details. This here is what the kids call a horror story, but it managed to end up with zero losses, and even a relatively small amount of destruction.
Of course, it could have ended with explosions, deaths, injuries, and a burning school. Thus, we're going to go ahead and say that having the firefighters chew this idiot out for twenty-five minutes was the right decision for everybody involved.
Cats Can Be Catty Too
Cats are pretty good at getting themselves both into and out of scary situations. Thus, when a cat is really, truly stuck, they will let you know by howling at the top of their little kitty lungs.
But cats are also lying, scheming little monsters, so as soon as the fire department showed up to help out, the cat was able to magically free itself. Guess what's going to happen the next time she gets her paw stuck under the dishwasher? The owner certainly isn't going to call for help just to end up looking like an idiot.
A Last-Second Decision
If you're going to be dealing with a huge storm like a hurricane, our two pieces of advice are either to get out of there right away or to load up on supplies and stay put without going outside at all.
This woman, unfortunately, chose both, which means she stepped outside with her sons in the middle of the hurricane and tried to leave, immediately getting stuck, which means that the probably over-worked fire department had to go and rescue her, even when she knew she should have stayed home. Good job, lady.
Ta-Da!
If you get the feeling that not a whole lot of these stories are going to have to do with firefighters rushing inside burning buildings to save people, then you're right. A lot of them are going to be like this story, which had a guy thinking he knows what he's doing. In his mind, he was the intoxicated version of Houdini.
He was even kind of hostile towards the firefighters that came to help him out, but once it was over he was thankful. Actually, now that we think about it, if his trick was “I can get out of these handcuffs without unlocking them,” then we guess he succeeded!
A New Twist on an Old Classic
Calling up the fire department to get your cat out of a tree is as American as apple pie. In pop culture, firefighters save people from burning buildings, and they rescue cats stuck in trees. In this story, the woman was more than willing to go up the tree to save her cat, but she wasn't comfortable climbing back down.
So she called the fire department to come to get her at four in the morning. It's known that climbing up something is easier than maneuvering yourself back down, but this woman might have missed that memo.
Pick Your Favorite Body Part
Due to the censoring this image has, we aren't exactly sure where the spring from the mattress landed, but we're going to assume that it was somewhere painful. Most likely it's a three-letter body part.
Calling the fire department because you think you have a spring pinning you to the bed seems fairly reasonable if we're being honest. We all know that waking up can be pretty difficult sometimes – if you have a long day ahead of you, you might be tempted just to stay in bed for a while. This woman had to stay longer than she expected.
Which Half Was In?
If you had just started as a member of the fire department, you're probably all charged up to rush into burning buildings, put out blazes, and look good driving around town in your big red truck.
And then you find out that you're going to be doing things like rescuing a nude man who is stuck in a skylight. We don't get any more information about the job, but it does really leave us to wonder – was the man trying to get out of the building, or into it?
Please, Please Tell Us More
Sometimes the simplest stories are the best. This one, for instance, allows us to create our own scenarios for how on Earth this happened. We all know horses don't fly. They also don't really climb anything that well. Horses are very talented on the ground, but once things get hilly they lose steam.
Since this story just includes the bare bones, we have no idea how a horse got stuck in a tree. Do horses get embarrassed? We kind of hope they don't, we wouldn't want to see his other horse friends laughing at him.
Hopefully, He Filed Those TPS Reports
This story was a ride from start to finish. The kid locks his mom out and gets down to business, just like Mom does. Of course, he's six, so he doesn't really know what business is other than clicking things or typing things or saying things, so the fire department is called to rescue him from the drudgery.
This is, of course, very exciting for him. A lot of these stories have to do with people very happily calling the fire department. But the kid was six, I think we can give him a pass just this once.
She's Claustrophobic Now
There's nothing wrong with playing around at school, but if that little bit of fun ends with having to call the fire department, maybe rethink your entertainment choices. Apparently, this poster's sister was playing “I'm a school girl get me out of here”? Is that a game that other people play?
How old was the sister? A teacher? We are left to imagine these details. They had to cut her out of the locker, so we hope it was sufficiently embarrassing. Maybe next time don't play a game that has you wedging yourself into a tight space.
Say No More
This story, mercifully, does not go into great detail, but we still don't want to spend very long talking about it. So this firefighter-in-training wasn't following proper protocol, and a certain something got caught in a belt.
We sometimes get belly hairs stuck in belt buckles, and even that hurts way more than it seems like it should, so we don't even want to get near the amount of pain this probably caused. Let this be a lesson to everyone – if you don't follow proper belt protocol, you might get your private parts crushed while you're suspended in midair.
That's Not a Fire, Ma'am
Someone throwing an orange at an old lady lands you on the naughty list in our book, but you have to admit it isn't exactly the sort of thing you call the fire department for. Unless the orange was on fire, then we could see it. But the thing about oranges is they aren't all that flammable.
Lots of juice inside them, which doesn't really find it necessary to light up. If this was more than just a random chance, then the lady should have absolutely called the police, but the fire department?
A Call for Skewed Priorities
The fire department meets all kinds when they're out on jobs. They probably meet this kind of person a lot, since people who had something to drink usually make stupid mistakes, like crashing their pickup on the side of the road and starting a fire.
After the crash, however, they're usually sober enough not to demand the firefighters save his drinks. This guy not only had to be pulled out of the blazing truck, but he had to make sure the people saving his life knew about his pint in the back seat. This case is pretty open and shut.
Coal in His Stocking
Can we really fault this guy for trying to be romantic? No, but we can fault him for being dumb enough to think that he could actually fit down a chimney. They actually don't want people doing that, for this very reason.
The guy got stuck and almost got his life smoked out of him before the fire department had to suit up on Christmas. The girlfriend probably wasn't all that pleased, the firefighters definitely weren't happy about it, and we bet the guy wasn't a big fan of the entire event, too. Still, points for effort, we guess.
Got What He Deserved
It's not every day the fire station gets a call from a drunk guy chasing a penguin, so when it does happen they savor the details. If you're a firefighter in Antarctica, it might happen a little more frequently, but still.
Penguins are surprisingly brave – when you have to live with killer whales, a drunk human isn't going to bother you that much. This penguin struck back at his pursuer with a powerful blow, and who knows – maybe the penguin would have finished the job if not for the firefighters arriving in time to save the drunk guy.
We Guess It Could Have Caused a Fire
Not only did this woman save her pie, and potentially keep a bad fire from happening, but she also gave the local firefighters a treat to eat. It almost seems like she planned this from the very beginning.
Surely an old woman who is going to call the fire department to get her pie out of the oven knows that she shouldn't leave the house when something that delicate is being baked. If you leave a pie in there for even a second too long they get burnt.
Helping Out the Fuzz
Firefighters and police officers have a little bit of a rivalry going on. They're often lumped together in people's minds so there's a healthy competition between the two.
The firefighters won this day when they were called in to open a door, just to have the occupant open the door for them. The boys in blue probably want to forget about it, but then again they usually have to deal with way more armed people than firefighters do. Fires can't hold weapons. Oh, man, what if they could. That would be rad.
What Was the Thought Process Here?
We've all wanted to have a pig roast every once in a while, but most of us just look at hardware prices on Amazon and then give up. The story related here, on the other hand, has some people so excited to roast a pig that they do it in a bathtub.
No, they didn't fill it with water, they filled it with wood or charcoal or something and started it on fire. This was, in retrospect, a bad decision. They risked everyone in the entire building, and when the firefighters arrived, they were more interested in saving the pig.
Big Kids Getting Stuck in Little Stuff
Not only does this story have a person getting stuck in an embarrassing way, but it also has him paying for it, literally. The teenager – a grown-up person – got stuck in a tiny child's chair and had to cut him out of it.
The teen got embarrassed, and then the fire department charged the parents for a non-emergency rescue. Additionally, the parks department then charged the parents for the swing. We hope he learned a valuable lesson on that day. If not, well, he's hopeless.
We Bet This Happens a Lot
The tables at public parks are made from tough plastic that you can't damage unless you have tools. They also have the perfect size holes for kids to stick their fingers in, so we're going to guess that this is the kind of thing that happens a little bit too often.
And we bet that hurts, too. But, then again, the embarrassment is probably far more potent, as well as the teasing this child rightfully received from his friends and probably the firefighters as well.
Defeated by Himself
When you're running from something, you're looking for every possibility you can to get away. Criminals who are fleeing from the law are the same way, which is where this story comes from.
When the criminal in question jumped onto a floating piece of ice, he thought he had just gotten away. Of course, when the firefighters eventually caught up with him, he was huddled in a little icy hole. Not only did he get caught, but he revealed the location of his secret criminal hideout, too.
How Could They Have Missed That Part
Canoeing takes, like, two things. Three, if you count a life jacket. Hearing the story about two girls who only brought the barest minimum of equipment – skipping both the life jacket and paddles – it's impossible not to laugh.
We have to assume it was their first time, and they just didn't know any better. But how great of an image it is to picture a couple of city girls totally forgetting to bring something that is so critical to the canoeing experience?
Is This Irony?
The only thing closer to irony that we can think of is a fire station catching on fire. Imagine if an actual fire had occurred while the firefighters were freeing this kid's leg from the racks they use to dry their hoses.
What if there was a school on fire or something, but the firefighters from this station couldn't be there to help because this kid's little leg got stuck on a piece of their own equipment? The shame would be enough to light more fires than anybody could ever be able to put out.
Filming the Action
A house on fire is what firefighters spend their whole career preparing for. Keeping the blaze from spreading is part of it, but another part is making sure those who are inside will get out safely.
In this story, it seems the owner hadn't let anyone know that he was, in fact, out of the house, which meant that a firefighter went back into the dangerous blaze to try and find him. We also found out that the owner was the one who started the fire while trying to smother his barbecue flame with wood. Wood. Let that sink in.
A Costly Mistake
We all love to show off to our friends, but doing so can be dangerous if we don't know what we're doing. So goes the tale of somebody who didn't realize how incredibly dangerous it would be to try and cross a fast-moving river during the cold months of the year.
Three hundred feet is the size of a football field, which would take you a good amount of time to cross even if you weren't on a snowmobile. Thankfully, the only thing lost here was a working machine and a good amount of pride.