We can’t figure out why anybody tries to pretend that red onions actually look red. They’re purple. They’re purple! Maybe a reddish-purple, but we defy somebody to find a red onion. Perhaps they were red back in the day before the growing organisms were further modified, but they are now purple.
The only solution is to go into the bookstore and start writing little notes in the margins of cookbooks so that people know the bold stance you have decided to take. This will get you banned from the bookstore, but there’s no other way to do it. Another question we have now. Are tomatoes related to cherries?
It's an Intimate Act
There are lots of people out there that love the idea of living in the future. We might not be zooming around on jetpacks, but we do have a Star-Trek-level device in our pockets or hands. Back in the day, there was lots of talk about video phones, but it took quite some time before they came into vogue.
Now you can zoom, facetime, or do all other sorts of things, but some find it...intrusive. Maybe they're not looking their best, or maybe they just don't want to look at you. Make sure the other person is okay before you look into your camera.
In Fact, They Hate It
Every once in a while, some genius comes up with the idea of putting their pet in some people's clothes. It never really works out. Sure, some dogs need little booties to keep their feet safe out in the snow, or they need sweaters to be comfortable in the cold. Other than that, however, dogs or cats and clothes don't mix all that well.
If you try hard enough, you might be able to get your pets used to them, but it just doesn't look good, and the pets will be uncomfortable for the most part. At the very least, keep all kinds of masks and headgear away from them.
Where Does He Get All the Cardboard?
We've never used Shazam, but we imagine not being able to hum a song into it to figure out what the song is makes a person faint with annoyance. Having a song stuck in your head without knowing the name of it might just be one of the levels of hell (a higher level for people that didn't return their carts at the grocery store). But if you can only hum it, Shazam isn't going to be able to help.
Thankfully there are a bunch of other ways to do it with various results. We usually just ask that one friend everybody has who has an encyclopedic knowledge of all things musical.
Pick a Better Password, Then
It's up to you to find a way to remember your passwords. You could also just write them down on a piece of paper that you keep in a secure place. There are also plenty of computer programs that keep track of your passwords for you. Finally, you could come up with passwords that are long (and thus more secure) that are actual terms, like the famous XKCD comic about passwords.
The suggestion is correcthorsebatterystaple, though many sites would need things like special characters or numbers. The Dude is correct in that his password is hard to remember, but there's always a better way.