There are lots of worse people than this friend, who seems to have a never-ending number of requests about this or that or the other thing. Everything from adopting a cat to using someone as a job application even though they haven’t seen each other in five years.
However, the constant asker seems to take all of the negative answers in stride. Is this an intentional tactic to deal with one of the many, many issues that this person has, or is it just him trying to get out from under all the work he has to do?
Moms Know the Score
Who knows exactly what happened to make this kind of message necessary, but apparently it involved a lot of crying. Spicy crying. Did you know that eating spicy foods improves your mood? It's true!
You may be familiar with something called serotonin, which helps your body naturally reduce depression and stress. Well, eating spicy foods boosts your body's production of this substance. It's produced in response to the spicy heat, which the body interprets as pain. It gets pretty complicated after that, but if you're feeling down, try some jalapenos. And if you're drunk, text your mom, not an ex.
It's Like a Ladder
Every episode builds upon the next one. You can't just start at who knows where in the middle and think that he'll understand all the nuanced character choices and political drama that's going on. Plus there's all the killing. Lots and lots of killing. Just, like, so much killing. Wait until he's six, at least. By then he'll be into “Spongebob Squarepants,” and that's pretty much just as violent.
Are there any other problems with that idea? Nah, we can't think of any. In the meantime, we recommend a white noise machine. They do wonders.
Tattoos for the Taking
Yeah, when people are still getting their feet under them in the tattoo business, they might pay to have a nice, fresh canvas for practice, but not if they're several years into the industry like this guy is. Tattoos are worth big bucks if you're getting them done right, and it's clear that the friend on the left was just trying to score himself some free ink.
Blue wasn't having any of it, however, pointing out that there are plenty of people who will pay him, which also lets him practice his trade. Thanks though.
Let Me Just Order Some Sirloin for You Then
Unlike many of the conversations on this list, this example begins with someone reaching out to another and making a very generous offer. If you don't have anything in the pantry, then canned food and rice are going to seem like a godsend. Heck, just chicken and beans are enough for some people to get by.
It's not good enough for this person, however, who makes a face and then meows like a cat at the idea of eating canned food and rice. Sure, why not. Maybe this person doesn't have a can opener?