Ah, a young Tom Cruise. Nowadays he’s a hot-shot action movie star, but the actor of Top Gun fame was riding the celebrity train in the 80s. Cocktail was one of the many films the budding young actor released during that period. Featuring the song “Kokomo”, the film focuses on the life of a college student who works as a bartender to pay for his education. He works and works and then – oh wait, that’s it.
Lola Borg of Empire remarks “Cruise oozes as much charm as in Top Gun and The Colour of Money, but the mix of bar-acrobatics and Caribbean love isn’t anywhere near strong enough to get you drunk.” Cruise himself admitted a few years later it wasn’t exactly the highlight of his career. 5% on Rotten Tomatoes. Next.
1990: Ghosts Can't Do It
We thought Bolero was bad, but it seems that John Derek just can’t stay away from producing bad films. Again, another film about sex from an equally perturbed place. IMDb’s synopsis says it all: “Elderly Scott kills himself after a heart attack wrecks his body, but then comes back as a ghost and convinces his loving young hot wife Kate to pick and kill a young man in order for Scott to possess his body and be with her again.” If that isn’t enough to turn your stomach, then you’re on your own!
So, an old pervert is with a hot young bird who apparently loves him, he kills himself because you know, he can’t “do it” anymore and can’t “enjoy” his young wife. One second, a bit of projectile vomiting coming up. Do we have to continue? This film is cringing enough.
1989: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
So, before we even get started on this installment in the Star Trek universe, firstly we need to establish: A) it’s 1989, the tech just ain’t as good as these days, and B) Oh wait, Star Wars was produced earlier than this and still managed to be decent for its time, C) Okay never mind, continue with awarding the Golden Raspberry.
The producer himself even remarked that he thought the film “nearly killed the franchise.” But reviews on Rotten Tomatoes show variety – Trek fans weren’t too happy with it, critics were indifferent, and some even enjoyed it, but on the whole, it seems there should’ve been a little more time dedicated to developing the story. It makes sense, considering the plotline involved Spock betraying Kirk.
1987: Leonard Part 6
Parody films only really work if they’re done well. As for Leonard Part 6? Well, the verdict was not so good. Awarded the Golden Raspberry in 1987, the American spy parody film starred and was produced by the now-infamous Bill Cosby.
Funnily enough, Cosby himself denounced the film; just weeks before its release, he came out and basically said he wasn’t proud of it. Apparently, the reputation he had given it certainly lived up to the expectations of audiences and critics alike: the expectation that it was going to be terrible. Winning three Razzies, including Worst Picture, it’s considered one of the worst films ever made.
1986: Howard The Duck
Even though this film premiered in 1986 and was a bit of a flop, the joke is on all the critics who panned Howard the Duck – did you know he made a cameo appearance 28 years later in Guardians of the Galaxy, and most recently, in the latest installment of The Avengers? The cigar-smoking drake perhaps went over audiences' heads in the 80s, but hey, Guardians is all about a talking raccoon and a talking tree.
However hard Howard the Duck might have tried to persuade us that “ducks can talk”, it just wasn’t going to fly for 80s cinemagoers. Despite the fans of the OG Marvel comic book, and Howard giving the film a somewhat cult status, it is still considered one of the worst films ever made. Financially it was a bit of a disaster too – making just $15 million after the studio forked out $30 million for its production.