This is how we ended up with our first article about funny breakup texts. Also the second. And now the third, as you people seem insatiable, and we can’t blame you.
Time to Start Thinking
Two people are dating, but it turns out there's a third – her name is Zoey, and she is just as unhappy about "Mark" cheating as the original girlfriend. It's good that these two girls realize who is to blame in this situation – Mark.
We don't know what they get up to, but it seems right out of a raunchy high school comedy movie. Incredibly, Mark could string along two women for two years, especially in an age with cell phones, the internet, and social media.
An Important Metric
Some things are, simply put, impossible to ignore. In the animated movie canon, the death of Simba's father, Mufasa, is one of them. Of course, you have to respond emotionally, but some people have the wrong one. For instance, this person was able to laugh.
Laugh! Sure, maybe you've seen it a dozen times, but to be able to laugh at such an event is a clear sign of a cruel soul. Most likely, this isn't an actual breakup, but it will give the other half of the relationship pause when thinking about their future.
Spitting Bars
When someone breaks up with you – or dumps you, as seems to be the correct term here – it can be hard to form a good response. This person has no problem firing back with a poem that, while might not be original, certainly helps soften the blow.
We're a little upset that the person wasn't able to use the proper form of the word "too" in the last line, but all of these things are just coming from high school anyway. It's not like they're there to learn. We on the internet need all the drama we can get.
Communication Is Important
In any relationship, getting your feelings across to the other person is essential. That means leaving the lines of communication open at all times, unlike how these two did things.
Blake and the other person seemed to think the same regarding the length of the relationship, but at least they both went about it like mature adults. Just kidding, Blake goes silent as the other person keeps trying to talk. Eventually, Blake admits they aren't feeling it, and the other person agrees. Glad that's over with.
Read Between the Lines
Oh, maybe just read the lines, buster, because it's pretty clear this relationship is just as cold as yours. But, on the other hand, it seems like the other half of the relationship still holds a little candle – with which they would like nothing more than to set Gray aflame.
Hopefully, Gray got the message, which should be pretty easy to understand. Also, stop texting at two in the morning. People are trying to sleep. Put the relationship to bed, and then get some sleep.
Singing the Wrong Tune
So let's get this straight. Just so we're clear. So that we understand what's going on here, one person, Clark, sends, "I think we should break up" in quotes, and Blue agrees, thinking that a split is for the best. Clark says that they were quoting a song.
Blue switches and says yes, that's what I was doing. Everybody is relieved. And we're supposed to believe this was anything other than a gag so they could take a screenshot and post it on the internet? We're not buying it. Try a little harder next time.
Uh, Sorry
We get that sending a text to the wrong person can happen, but this seems suspicious. Do you accidentally text a question about a breakup to the person who was going to be broken up with? It doesn't taste right. It's got a scent to it. It feels a bit off.
This (like we're guessing is true for so many others on this list) is staged. If Jenna was being told about an impending breakup, she wouldn't shout TELL ME at whoever the random texter is. Instead, she would start screaming at Josh. At the very least, it's a way to make Jenna the one to break it off.
A Great Time Saver
It seems like Amanda was playing the field in a big way, casting the broadest net possible to catch the right fist for her hook...? That analogy got away from us a little bit.
If we're doing the math right, she was stringing along three different guys simultaneously, and then she also decided to get back with her ex. Good luck, we guess. We will be here talking about how glad we are to dodge that collective bullet. Amanda couldn't even be bothered to break up with all three of them individually.
Time to Drop Some Weight
It's always lovely being told precisely what you need to do to improve your life, and many people head to the doctor for that reason. They don't always hear what they want to hear, but it's usually the proper advice. This doc has told someone to dump their significant other.
This seems a little extreme, but we didn't go to medical school, so we'll give the doc the benefit of the doubt. Then again, the recipient of this breakup message is still labeled Bae, complete with a cryptic emoji, so maybe it isn't as extreme as all that.
This Is What I Think of Your Valentine's Present
After a bad breakup, there has to be some catharsis, some release. All the feelings being pent up for that long need somewhere to go. Unfortunately, the emotions often go into the destructive category, often targeted directly at the ex's possessions or the gifts they handed out.
For example, this photo shows us that a giant bear with a big heart will go up in big flames once you introduce a lighter. We've never set fire to a stuffed animal (we know, we're lame), so we'd be interested in seeing how quickly it goes up. Hopefully, that's the only thing that went up, though.
There for All to See
For some people, destruction is sure to follow a breakup. This person got struck after cheating on the other half of the relationship, resulting in their old van getting its windows smashed out and plenty of naughty, naughty words sprayed on the side.
We don't even get to see what happened inside, but we bet there was plenty of destruction there, too. Now, this groovy old van is being hauled away, where it will likely be crushed into a cube or recycled into something people will want to drive.
Hard to Miss
Communication is essential in a relationship, and communicating that a relationship is over is just as important. When you're breaking up with someone, say it clearly, so there isn't any room for confusion.
As this example shows, using the words "I'm breaking up with you" is a pretty standard way to do it – hard to misinterpret that sort of statement. Of course, there are many better ways to do it, but this is the bare minimum you should be using – it's not a break. You're breaking up.
Cool, Free Stuff
Revenge is something we're told is sweet, best served cold, or something we should try to avoid doing. When a jerk breaks up with you, you're allowed to get a little bit of revenge. Giving his stuff away is one of the classic examples.
Of course, the gal could have chosen to sell the property and make a few bucks, but this is just as good. We see a poster in there as well as something that ends with "-softener," which could start with water-, stool-, or several other things. This not only gets rid of some trash but embarrasses him as well! Nice.
Turnabout Is Fair Play
The card starts with the classic beginning, but everybody who's been on the internet for a few years knows that anything could come after "violets are blue." It also seems like this person has an excellent reason to give their beau the boot after a full calendar year of bad behavior.
The little bit at the end might not have the same rhyming scheme, but it's a vital code to the whole card — time to get out of my life and start ruining someone else's. I'm barely even going to give you good handwriting.
Get the Dog Out of There
We hope this guy blocked the alleged Brenda on all his social media and phone because this kind of breakup will get you some angry messages. We'd also like to applaud Mark for leaving a couple of notes right there on the door.
Finally, we hope Brenda takes this opportunity to look at why she might have pushed Mark away – and scared a dog off at the same time. But if Brenda is like so many other Brendas, she's going to assume Mark is crazy and figure she doesn't have to change at all.
We've Seen Worse
Plenty of breakups end with tears, anger, shouts, and many hurt feelings, but there are also plenty of simple facts of life. For example, a long-term relationship wasn't in the cards, and both sides parted ways knowing there were better things for them.
In this example, the person on the right left the person on the left with a gif from one of the most classic breakup songs written since 2000. This was part of an inside joke between the two, which almost makes us sad. However, they were still clearly friends.
Hurrah
So you want to break up with someone, but you also want them to feel like something good just happened. What's the best way to go about it? We suggest getting a cake that says "It's done" or something like that, so at least they can eat their feelings.
This person decided to add a confetti effect to the breakup. It makes it feel like a party a little bit. You, too, can quickly achieve this by holding down the send button (we think this is only for iMessage) and selecting one of the effects. That will make it all better.
Learning the Ropes Early
Kids are getting into relationships younger and younger these days, but this isn't exactly that. They know those deeper relationships are a part of life, so they try to mimic the adults and find someone they like. And this isn't too bad of a letter. Just a gentle question, yes or no?
Or maybe, someone might have to explain to us. We guess that "maybe" becomes "Complicated" once the kids reach Facebook age. Thankfully, "Ashely" lets this poor guy down easy, saying he'll be the next up to the plate once Kyle proves a failure.
That's How She Feels
Mr. Ex-Boyfriend just can't let things go, can he? These two seem to have been over and done with but his libido is making him do some stupid, stupid things.
We hope the girl in the green text bubble managed to cool down some of that apparent enthusiasm. You're gonna have to try a lot harder than a couple of winky emoticons to get out of this one, buddy!
He's Been Sitting on This One for a While
One of the things most of us do after a breakup is plan the most epic response to tell the other person should the future have us run into each other again. We rarely get a chance to play this scenario out in real life. This guy, however, had his shot and he took it with both hands.
We wouldn't be surprised if it turned out he had the text written into his notes, waiting for the right time to be copied and pasted into this chat.
Up to Something Illegal
Mark doesn't seem to have much dignity, does he? Even though his ex-babe broke up with him a month ago, he is still eager and willing to reply to her texts within a moment's notice and suggests they do something together. Except it's all a ruse!
Mark isn't up to anything that involves the former girlfriend. Unless it involves her getting what she deserves, that is.
Pinky Promise
So many people think they can keep being friends after their romantic relationship is over, just like the person in gray. However, very few actually succeed. You know, there's the emotional residue, jealousy, petty fights — all that mess of human feelings that would best be avoided.
The person in green definitely prefers avoiding it at all costs, which might explain why these two weren't a good match to begin with.
BFF Fail
We wouldn't want to be around when Derek finds out what his best friend just did. On the other hand, maybe it was all an elaborate plan, so Derek didn't have to deal with the breakup drama.
Not that his BFF is doing a better job - telling someone your boyfriend hasn't liked you for months is pretty brutal. And uncalled for. Come on guys, grow a pair. Both of you.
Cat Got Your Nose?
After a breakup, it's natural to want answers. But as the adage goes, be careful what you wish for. Sometimes the answers you will get are, well, weird. This person apparently had an unwavering smell of cat, and that was too much for his partner to deal with. Now, what exactly does that mean? Do they mean that they smell like cat pee? Or just, like, a general smell of cat..?
Cats, to our knowledge, don't have such an offensive smell, and they certainly smell better by dogs, if we're going to compare species. We would have to argue that if this person wanted to make things work, they would have worked through the cat thing, or at the very least told their partner that they smell like cats. In our humble opinion.
Wait...What?
We truly hope this person was joking because otherwise, he's the worst husband in history. Not only did he try to break up with his wife through a text message, but they were also actually both in the house when he did it!
As if that cowardice weren't enough, he just admitted to having an affair. Hey, at least he was ending it.
Bus Money
The first part of this note isn't so bad if you choose to ignore the fact that this person thinks writing a last-minute sharpie letter on a dollar bill is 'putting a lot of thought into it.
At least they were considerate enough to offer to share the car and leave a dollar for the bus. We think Mary should spend as much time mourning this relationship as this person spent writing that note.
Touché!
In all fairness, they do have a point - 'babe' is now officially an ex. We love this person's quick wit and sense of humor, and we want to believe that they were joking playfully when they told 'babe' that they were totally replaceable.
Let's hope 'babe' understood it was all in good fun and there were no hard feelings. And nobody became an ex.
Not Working Out
Either this guy is a fitness freak, and using exercise metaphors is the only way he knows how to communicate, or he's just an idiot. Breaking up with someone is never easy, and we get that maybe he tried to make it humorous, but he achieved the complete opposite.
Sara is probably better off without him, but it's never easy to have your relationship compared to doing push-ups on your knees.
Bad Andy
It looks like Andy has some serious communication issues. Apparently, he forgot to tell Jessica they'd broken up, and he now has a new girlfriend. Or maybe he was just too lazy to do it and said, "hey, it's better if my new girl breaks the news.
Honestly, we'd be far more concerned if we were the new girlfriend.
Coffee Always Wins
As coffee fiends, we completely understand where this person is coming from. Coffee is all the things on that list and more, but if your partner can name more things they love about coffee than they love about you, it's pretty much over.
In all fairness, at least they took the time to draw a nice little coffee mug doodle.
When Autocorrect Ruins Your Life
Jenna probably wants to jump out the window right about now.
Poor Jason was feeling sexy and wanted to send a text to his girlfriend while she was trying to figure out how to tell him they needed some space. Oh well, autocorrect took care of it.
Burn!
We would've paid good money to see her ex-boyfriend's face when he saw this on TV. He probably thought he would have a nice quiet evening at home and watch the game while his girlfriend went out with her friends. Wrong, buddy.
Your ex-girl had other plans. She knows you cheated, and she knew you couldn't afford tickets to your favorite game, so she hit where it would hurt. And we applaud her.
"Nah"
This person just isn't accepting that they've been dumped. They refuse to make peace with it. They're standing strong and saying "Nah."
To be fair, "Nah" is the perfect annoying and infuriating response to a person that breaks up with you through a text message. So, good on them!
They Even Took the TV
It's bad enough to come home to a note like this, but to realize you now don't even have a TV to watch sad movies and wallow in self-pity? That's just brutal.
But hey, at least they left the mailbox key. Now, that's real love.
Take Care
The only nice thing about this letter is the pretty penmanship. Other than that, Marge felt the need to tell whoever this man was that she had not only met a nice guy but that he was a real gentleman and had a blue convertible.
Clearly, this man is off at war, and Marge just went on with her life; at least she was completely honest and gave her best wishes. But we still feel bad for this poor guy. As if war wasn't enough of a bad situation, this guy is going to come home to find his girl gone, his ring returned (along with a special picture, we guess), and his heart broken.
Pure Desperation
When you have an ex that hurt you enough but seems to be showing a lot of love, don't fall for it. It's not really love! It's toxic love, and it has no place in your life.
The response here from the ex is perfect. Maybe also be a bit toxic, but it still makes the message clear. "Stay away from me, and don't text me again!"
Bad English
Although we will never agree with breaking up over a text message, we also have to admit that there is nothing worse than a person who can't even be bothered to write proper sentences. Some text slang here and there is fine, but this is just ridiculous.
Granted. The last message was a little too aggressive, but sometimes bad English is enough to ruin a relationship.
Friendly Neighbors
The residents of Chicago have had enough, and we totally understand. Nobody should have to spend the whole night listening to a couple scream their heads off.
Sometimes you just have to take the neighbors' advice and get it over with. Otherwise, that building won't be getting any sleep any time soon.
KFC Obsession
Clearly, Julien likes KFC a little too much. And unfortunately, KFC isn't ready for a serious relationship at the moment.
Maybe Julien should try his luck with Popeye's Chicken? We hear they're a bit more friendly.
When Autocorrect Kills the Mood
We've all been victims of autocorrect, and this breakup was no exception. This person was trying to be serious and stand their ground with the breakup, but the autocorrect was just too funny to ignore.
At least they reacted with some humor and made sure to make it clear that they are, in fact, over.
Chocolate Cake Break
That cake looks delicious, but we suspect whoever found it threw it in the garbage after reading what the icing spelled out.
Not only is it infuriating to get dumped with a cake, but the message written on it also couldn't be more passive-aggressive! Hey cake baker, maybe it's actually you?!
Welcome to Dumpsville
We don't know what this person did to deserve such a mean text message, but hey, at least it was creative.
Maybe babe will find a new partner in Dumpsville. Or at least a few friends to talk to.
The Harsh Truth
Although it isn't exactly a breakup message, there's not much left to be said after a note like this.
You have to hand it to this person, though. At least they were honest.
Very Cold
Really, can a person get any colder if this story is real, which we hope it's not? Then it means that somewhere out there in this world is a person cold enough to text a breakup to their spouse in the middle of the night while they're suffering from life-threatening illnesses.
A message to you, you terrible person, where ever you are, if you see this, you got whatever has come to you, and if you lived a life of fortune, we hope you lose it all.
The Breakup Post-it
There are few things more infuriating than getting dumped through a text message or phone call, but getting dumped with a post-it note?! That's just unforgivable.
We must applaud how concise, and to the point, the message is, though.
Busted
Even though this person must have been furious at their ex for lying so blatantly, it must have been incredibly satisfying to catch them in the act.
That's what you get for lying, buddy. We would've paid good money to see this person's face when they realized their partner was standing right behind them.
Redirecting the Anger
There is no better way to diffuse a situation than by creating another one. This girl knew that her boyfriend's Xbox was one of his prized possessions and that the mere thought of losing it would wreak havoc.
So, she figured that cheating on him and being honest about it would hurt far less than a broken Xbox. And it seems she was right.
Childish
When you look at this message, you can only come up with one conclusion. This is a text sent from a troubled little boy between the ages of 12 and 18, who learned communication from watching Jersey Shore and South Park.
A complete fool, to say the least, and a blessing of a breakup. Really you should feel a world of happiness if a person like this broke up with you.
What a Rollercoaster
This is a wild ride. The last two messages could have stood perfectly fine on their own, and the tone would have been overall a lot sweeter. But that's a tough opening line to get passed. And look, for all we know, maybe this woman has been a bit difficult lately, we don't know the situation.
These texts were also sent at 2 in the morning. That's got to be the golden hour of bad times to text your ex. Nothing that is sent at that hour can work out well, it doesn't matter how hard you try. And clearly, this guy wasn't trying so hard anyway.
Too Much
We don't know what this guy did, but it must've been pretty bad to warrant this. Not only did the woman go through the trouble of destroying a perfectly good keyboard so it spelled out "I Hate You," but she also left a gorgeous engagement ring and a key. Ouch!
Maybe the guy can pawn the ring to buy himself a new keyboard.
Bobo, the Lunatic
This message is absolutely hilarious. And although these reasons might actually be legitimate for some people to dump their partners, you have to admit they're a bit much.
We could maybe get behind the relationship status update and the cat thing, but everything else is just madness. Unladylike swearing and disclosure of sexual partners?! Get over yourself, Bobo!
Not a Fan of Cole
Clearly, this is a breakup between kids, but it's still pretty funny. Kids have a way of simplifying everything and sometimes being slightly too honest, like Cory here.
She's not a fan of Cole's, and even with the lousy penmanship and jumbled letters, this message has got to sting a bit.
Just Jump
Seriously, what kind of person breaks up with someone while they're on holiday, on a cruise?! It's bad enough to break up through a text message, but to ruin somebody's holiday is just wrong.
And this is exactly why we love the response so much. Honestly, what else can you do but laugh at the whole thing and tell the person to go jump off a bridge?
Will the Liar
Come on, Will! Why would you even ask her if she trusts you if you were going to break up with her a second later?!
Maybe Will had good reason to be so mean, but that's still pretty harsh. Now this person is definitely going to be crying for days.
Mormon Boy
Apparently, this woman's hair was too much of a temptation for a Mormon boy to handle.
At least he was decent enough to clarify that the breakup has nothing to do with her. Still, we're really curious as to what this girl's hair looks like...
Thanks!
Good for this woman for knowing her worth. Long gone are the days where she's replying to "Yo" at 1 in the morning. Honestly, how does that even work? Are you not in bed asleep by then? Don't you have a job? The sheer concept of a booty call is frankly mind-boggling and super inconvenient, if you ask us.
Thankfully, this woman has gotten with the picture, and she's letting any low-lives know that she's above that. The best part is that she delivered it in a simple and formal message, as if she was responding to a work text.
The Devil is in the Details
This girl seems like a bit of a lunatic, and the guy is clearly a stickler for details, especially when it comes to grammar and spelling. Although to be fair, we kind of agree with the guy here.
There are few things less attractive than a person who doesn't write properly, especially when they're lying to get a rise out of you. If this girl hadn't actually slept with her best friend until now, she's definitely doing it when he gets back from Wales now.
More Toxicity
Legit, if anyone is sending you messages like this one, break up and praise the lord because they are so not worth it.
Even under the worst conditions of a relationship, a breakup should be handled with compassion and empathy for your significant other, not a short riddle that essentially insults your very existence. The natural response is, "oh really, I also just got back from the doctor, and he told me I seemed to be contaminated with a toxic jerk!"
See You Where?
This one took a U-turn real quick. It started out as a typical breakup. It was a little messy, there's blocking happening, and both parties seem to be on the same page. Then one partner throws in something about seeing the other at their wedding. What? Isn't a wedding, like, the exact opposite of a breakup...?
Maybe this is typical for this couple, that they break up and make up constantly, but ultimately they see themselves working out. That being said, based on the other partner's apparent surprise at the wedding comment, maybe they aren't going the distance after all.
Just Go!
There is nothing more frustrating than dealing with a romantic partner who CLEARLY needs to go to therapy, but flat out refuses and wants to stay toxic. Because sure, you can break up with these people, but not before they've wasted your time for months, and not without bugging you incessantly for months on end after you break up.
This woman was done with words. When her ex pulled the attention-seeking "say you hate me," her only response was a jovial, straight-talking, gif of three women wearing Go to Therapy" shirts. And that's the only way to handle things at this point! Smile and refer, just smile and refer.
Running Out of Patience
Some exes are delusional. They can't move on, so they want to pretend that you are also hung up on them and thinking about them 24/7. So they message you out of the blue with dumb questions like "What are the top 5 things you would do if you saw me?" What does that even mean? What kind of response is this guy even hoping for?
Luckily, his ex is more than familiar with this guy's antics, and she wasn't going to shy away. She made it clear that her only goal is to get as far away as humanly possible, and she's factored in break times, even.
You Need to Be More Upset
We feel both of these people might have dodged a bullet if that's the kind of spelling and grammar they will deploy during these critical messages. Also, while the breakup text might have been brutal and swift, the green side doesn't mind that much. They are busy.
There are things to be done, and crying over a relationship that wasn't going to go the distance isn't on the list. We hope the person did text the same thing over and over. That will show Green.
Diet Starts Tomorrow
This picture can mean one of two things. The first option is that this person is starting a keto diet tomorrow and ending their relationship with their dearly beloved pizza. The second option is that this person is getting broken up with by a rather evil partner who chose to relay the breakup message via a box of pizza. If you’re a lover of all things pizza, this is the last way you’d want to get broken up with.
On the other hand, if you are getting broken up this way, at least you’d have an excellent, steamy cheesy pizza to melt your feelings and sorrow into.
Not on the Same Page
It’s important to look for a partner that is on the same page as you. This doesn’t mean that you necessarily want all the same things as one another at the same time and enjoy all the same hobbies. But, when you’re in a relationship, you grow together, and your separate paths start to merge. You may even find that after some time of being together, you can complete each other’s sentences or blurt out the same words at the same time. Well, this couple’s relationship doesn’t seem to have taken that course. It’s especially awkward when you want to express something to each other and decide to say, “let’s say it at the same time,” and that epically fails.
In the case of this couple, one person had something very sweet to say, while the other had only heartbreak to deliver. Jacob apparently wanted out of the relationship, while his significant other wanted to take things to a whole new level and tie the knot. By the way, Jacob, that is a horrible way to break up with somebody. Have some nerve and be a man!
Take that Paul!
Sorry Paul, as embarrassing as this public breakup may have been for you, it seems like you deserve it, and for that, we aren’t at all about denouncing your wife’s breakup tactic. In fact, good for her. We imagine that this was Paul’s favorite cafe. We can picture him walking into the cafe in the morning, all groggy-eyed from his slumber and desperate for his favorite cappuccino before starting the daily grind. Well, his daily grind apparently involves another lady.
You got served Paul, and now you will never be able to face your favorite cafe again! You better look for another place to get your caffeine fix. And you better run home to say goodbye to your dog, you execrable beast!
Publicly Broke and Single
Can we just pause for a moment and publicly applaud this woman’s courage? If your husband is going to be unfaithful, what better way to call him out for his wrongdoings than through a billboard on a building? And best of all, one of which she paid for with their joint bank account! But you know what was probably priceless? The look on hubby steven’s face when he saw the sign. That right there is gold.
Looks like Emily was trying to get Steven’s attention for quite some time, with no luck. Well, Emily, you’ve probably gotten his undivided attention with this move. And you’ve probably also stolen everybody else’s attention in the city and perhaps caused a few accidents to happen. We hope that Steven learned his lesson for his next relationship! If he ever decides to pursue one again.
Knock-Knock
We’ve all heard some pretty lousy knock-knock jokes in our days. But this one must be one of the worst. Usually, you tell a joke to ignite a positive reaction and laughter in the person you’re telling it to. Well, that didn’t seem to be this dude’s intention. And to think that this poor girl was expecting to laugh and then got this. Now that’s just awful.
She wasn’t expecting to cry her eyes out over the knock-knock joke. The worst part is the last text when the guy tells her that he’s being serious. Well, the girl is definitely better off without him! Anybody who can’t muster up the courage to break up with somebody face to face isn’t worthy of somebody’s commitment to them.
A Wish
Who doesn’t love the old make-a-wish at 11:11? Even if you don’t honestly believe that there’s a chance of it coming true, it’s still fun to close your eyes and allow your inner imaginative child to emerge. Well, this person’s wish of getting married and staying together forever definitely wasn’t about to come true. That’s the last time they will ever wish for something at 11:11! They probably believed after this that 11:11 brings with it an utter disaster. Here’s to making sure that you’re on the same page with your partner.
Seems like both of them had completely different ideas for their future! One person seemed so excited about their future together, and the other wanted to get out quickly.
Strong Case
Have you ever broken up with somebody that just isn’t having it? They try and convince you of the reasons why you should stay with them. That can be really tough. That’s why it’s important to stand your ground and make the breakup official, or it can encourage an unhealthy cycle of breaking up and getting back together, and so on and so forth.
If they come at you with a response like “you’ll never find someone like me,” you might question and hesitate about the choice you’re about to make. Well, it seems like this person stood their ground and didn’t let their soon-to-be ex dictate their decision-making.
Free Wife
This guy is having a big garage sale, and you might be able to get his wife for free! You know, a garage sale that has a sign “all must go” means that the owners are ready for you to bargain with them. They want to get rid of everything as fast as possible. You’ll be able to get all sorts of things for your house at a majorly discounted price.
If you don’t mind having a wife that cheats, she’s also being sold in the sale! You’ll probably be able to get away with her for free since it seems like this guy is very desperate to get rid of her fast. His wife won’t be too happy about this sign, but, erm… she deserves it.
ILY
These days, there are acronyms for everything. Nobody has time or energy to write things out. ILY is a pretty common one, and it usually stands for “I Love You.” Well, when this person’s partner wrote to them “ILY,” they thought that they were getting a cute romantic text and wanted to see it spelled out.
What came next was definitely not what they were expecting; a breakup text! Can you believe that? People who don’t have the audacity and decency to break up with their partner in person, in our opinion, don’t even deserve to be in a relationship. This person was probably left heartbroken after this text and should definitely NOT forgive their ex under any circumstance.
Over Before it Began
Navigating dating apps is tough. You put yourself out there, get a couple of matches, and you reach out. But breaking the ice is sometimes the make-it or break-it of the whole deal, and it doesn't come naturally to some people. This guy decided to try a trusty old pickup line, and he even prefaced it by saying these weren't top-tier (probably trying to save face).
The girl he was talking to was open to it, but the poor Tinder guy had no idea what was coming. It's one thing to be told that your pickup line sucks, but it's another level of brutality to have someone reverse it on you to tell you to leave them alone. Maybe he got a second chance to start over - one can only hope.
High School Sweethearts
If you're reading this text exchange and thinking that the dialogue and screen look awfully, adolescent, you'd be correct. This is the woeful tale of a 14-year-old girl being dumped by her 14-year-old boyfriend. There was clearly some drama already at play as indicated by the hoodie business, but really we only get to see the culmination of this love story.
The girl is clearly taken by surprise, and you'd probably be too if you just saw your significant other like 2 hours ago and then they texted you, "So, you wanna break up?" Like that's traumatic! What could have caused this boy's sudden change of heart? We may never know...
Denial is Rough
As if it’s not already hard enough to break up with somebody. It’s even harder to do when your partner is in denial. When this person is going to wake up from dreamland and reality hits, they will be in a pretty rough place coming to terms with what just happened. She refuses to believe that her boyfriend is breaking up with her, despite him resorting to exclamation points to relay the message to her that their relationship is kaput, over. We are legit worried about this girl roaming the world on her own.
This kind of naivety can get you into major trouble.
The Joke’s On YOU!
More often than not, your dirty laundry gets revealed. You might be good at hiding it for some time, but the stench will come out sooner or later. This girl thought she was getting away with murder, but all of her little dates would soon come to the surface and slap her in the face really hard. And do you know what would also be hitting her in the face? The key to her home. It’s time for her to move out!
This girl’s boyfriend gave her a card that read, “this card will feel heavy.” While she may have thought that she was getting a piece of jewelry, once she opened the card, she discovered that her boyfriend was calling her out for all the men she had been seeing on the side. Sneaking around never ends well, and this girl deserves a breakup like this.
Ice Cold
We don't know what the dynamic was like between these two when they were together, but the poster said that they had been talking for around 5 months by the time this cold-hearted exchange happened. While that might not sound like a very long time, it's certainly enough time to deserve more than this. This breakup text is little more than ghosting.
At least he gave her a reason, we guess. But even then, she had to ask for it! He was content to leave her on read earlier that day, but then clearly felt somewhat bad when she texted again. Texting-based relationships might honestly be the worst ones, but hopefully, this woman found someone worthy soon after.
Take a Good Look At Yourself
Sometimes you need a good look in the mirror to get grounded and gain a sense of reality. Or to understand the fate of your failing relationship. Well, when this person got up in the morning and went to the bathroom to get ready, they were slapped in the face with brutal reality. Unfortunately for this person, they’ve been dumped, and now they’ll have to spend some time cleaning all of that makeup off of their mirror as they cry their eyes out into the mirror, reflecting on their last few years in the relationship.
We do wonder who broke up with who in this relationship and the reason for the harsh break up.
Get Your Act Together, Shawn
This breakup letter is precious. Apparently, Shawn was too shy to talk to Rachel since he asked her out three months ago. Judging based on her spelling mistakes, these two are young kids. Rachel grew to be frustrated with her significant other for not talking to her enough. You go, girl, although you could have tried to talk to Shawn before breaking his little ripe heart. Shawn will learn that if he wants to keep a girl by his side, then he’ll have to talk to her and not just stare at her googly-eyed from across their math class. Shawn should definitely internalize Rachel’s advice. She gave it to him in a pretty sweet way.
Seems like he’s got some work to do on himself… but don’t we all?
If Anybody Was Wondering
If anybody who follows @cjkarl11 is wondering, he just publicly broke up with @syd_ross via Instagram. Yes, this is the problem with millennials growing up on social media; they lose the ability to communicate with one another in person. Getting broken up is awful. But getting broken up with on social media takes it to a whole other level. We wonder what awful thing she did to him to make him publicly announce their break up before it seems like Sydney even know about it herself. Perhaps they took things to their dm’s after she commented on the photo, but we wouldn’t count on that.
We wonder what she did for him to be inclined to break up with her via Instagram and let her down gently in the comment section. Maybe they could settle things in the DMs, but we’re willing to bet that’s unlikely.
Better Read the Paper
If you aren’t an avid reader of your local newspaper, you might want to start reading it… you never know when you could find a message directed at you, like a breakup message. I would say that it’s worse than getting dumped on social media, but considering that everybody is on social media these days and not reading newspapers as much, we guess that posting on social media is even worse. So, Kevin Maxey maybe got it good that his partner didn’t break up with him via social media and chose the early 2000’s method via the local paper. And even if Kevin was loyal to his local paper, there’s a good chance that he missed this section in the paper because most people have their few sections that they read, and they don’t pay much attention to the rest.
We hope that somebody who knows Kevin at least saw this and relayed the message so Kevin knows he is now single.
Make Up Your Mind
This right here is the work of someone who literally can't be older than 16. Everything about this screams, "teen drama." The lack of punctuation, the intensity of both the breakup and the insecurity of the girl being broken up with, and the fact that it's happening over text. This is a teen drama for the 21st century. But then this boy shocks us all with his level of stupidity and toxic masculinity at such a young age.
After confirming that he "kinda" feels the way he had literally just stated, he gets confused as to why his loved one isn't replying. After an undisclosed amount of time, he can see the jig is up. So, only one thing left to do here, blame it on her.
A Bit of Humor
There are always people in your life that make you laugh. Some may even have some dark humor. The humor here is incredibly dark.
Just imagine your ex texts you that they miss you, and you basically tell them to jump. The message here is clear. "I don't want you anymore, I'd like you to go away, and it makes me laugh to make fun of you."
Break Up Anniversary
Now that’s a really harsh one! Young Delandren broke up with his girlfriend of one month, Krystal. Seems like he chose to break up with her on their anniversary. He expressed how hard it was to do it to Krystal. Maybe he thought it was nice of him to wish her a happy anniversary, but it probably added salt to the injury.
Perhaps when Delandren grows older, he’ll understand that breaking up with your girlfriend on your anniversary is a horrible thing to do. He’ll also realize that a breakup note won’t cut it. Well, he and Krystal don’t seem to be older than 7 years old, so we won’t hold it against him.
The Joke’s On Him
This guy was attempting to pull a joke on his lady by pretending that his phone had been disconnected when she contacted him with big news. He was clearly taken aback by the news and didn’t want any involvement in the baby’s life. Well, he made the silly mistake of revealing his silly tactic when he spelled the word You wrong.
He didn’t even try to come up with an excuse for his behavior and kept going with his joke. We wonder who this woman was that was trying to contact her future baby daddy and whether she managed to get in touch with him because if not, that dude is gonna owe a lot of child support one day.
Two Girlfriends
Looks like Steve Frazer has been called out by both of his girlfriends, and now he’s more single than ever. This sign is even better than the others we’ve seen of somebody’s wife calling out their husband for cheating. When Steve Frazer’s girlfriend found out that Steve was cheating on her with a second girlfriend, she teamed up with his second girlfriend, and the two of them got back at Steve in a way that only badass women who join forces can do.
You can imagine Steve’s reaction when he understood that he was no longer going to be able to pull off dating both of these women. And the fact that he had been called out publicly was even more of an embarrassment for him. But, a shame that he rightfully deserved it.
Why I Don’t Like You
Getting broken up is hard enough. But getting broken up with and receiving a list of criticism about yourself is even worse. Well, this person left their ex quite a comprehensive list of everything they don’t like about them. They seem pretty superficial to care about some of the things they’ve put on the list, like that they are bothered by the fact that their S.O. can name all of the members of one direction or that they think Predator 2 was better than Predator 1. Also, if they care about things like email addresses, then they might never meet somebody. But, we do agree with the fact that the person kissing everybody in their family on the lips is a bit much, and we wouldn’t like that either.
This person who is getting dumped does seem to have some pretty bad habits that make it understandable why their girlfriend no longer wants to be with them. It seems that he was such a bad boyfriend that his girlfriend felt obligated to make a list of everything he did wrong so that maybe he could make some changes to be a better boyfriend to his next girl.
Honestly No Worries
Some people require a great deal of closure after a breakup. Even when the conversation was enough and no stone was left unturned, some people need more. This is fine, everyone processes in their own way - but you don't need to force it on other people. Most people are content without a letter, whatever that will entail (that has likely been discussed before).
The letter-writers tend to have a flair for the dramatic, and you need to be patient with them. However, you don't need to put up with them, as this person is demonstrating. They're being polite, but to the point: Please. Don't. Write. A. Letter. Just move on in your own time in your own way. Keep well and say hi to your mom!
If You Can’t Write It, Draw It
This guy had difficulty expressing his words, so you know what they say- pictures say a thousand words. ZF had difficulty finding the correct breakup words for Janet, so he drew a picture to express his feelings toward her. We aren’t sure how him riding a giraffe has anything to do with their break up but sometimes you just can’t explain why you no longer want to be with somebody. It looks like the boy riding the giraffe is pretty angry, so that might be how ZF feels about Janet.
Whatever it was, she probably wasn’t too happy getting this letter from him unless she was used to his weird antics.
How Can You Be So Heartless?
We don’t know why so many people must break up with their S.O. in a public manner, but this girl announced publicly to her significant other, Dan, that she was leaving him for Gary. We aren’t even sure what Dan did wrong and if he deserves this sort of treatment. To add even more hurt to the situation, Laura did it on Valentine’s Day.
That would really suck if Dan had a really lovely romantic evening planned for the two of them. And to send him back to his parent's home, now that’s just brutal. Seems like she didn’t really give him much say in the matter.
The Extreme Break Up
Many people try to be super lovely when breaking up with somebody. After all, we are talking about human emotions, which are so raw and can absolutely tear someone to shreds. On the other hand, there are people who literally want to tear their significant others apart for the hurt that they’ve caused them. Well, this boy wanted nothing more to do with Valerie and was willing to take extreme measures to guarantee that. He drew a very graphic image to illustrate to Valerie just how far he was willing to go to ensure he would never have to face her again. We hope that Valerie didn’t see this note, because somebody of her young age is bound to be frightened and have nightmares.
As for this little boy who wrote this note, we sure hope that his parents saw it and are taking the necessary measures to find this boy some child therapy.
The Giver and the Taker
Within many relationships, there is a giver and a taker. The giver likely gives willingly, but the taker always needs to be careful not to push the limits. And it looks like here, ladies and gentlemen, the taker has pushed things too far. The taker is trying to be sweet and appreciative of everything their partner has done for them, but the giver has had it.
What's more, the giver isn't pushing back in the form of a long-winded monologue, they're responding in kind to the visual aid, and it's brutal. Nothing says "You wrecked me, kid" than a picture of a basketball hitting an old lady in the face. It was rough, but it finally needed to be said.
Being Genuine
Breaking up with somebody is no easy thing to do. Sometimes, people scramble to find the words of somebody else, like their favorite superhero, to express the way that they’re feeling. Although we are all for quoting celebrities or superheroes, we think that using somebody else’s words in the case of a breakup, especially of a fictional character, is pretty low.
The clever part here is that the person being broken up with understood the reference. Perhaps what brought this couple together in the first place was their shared love of superheroes. We just hope that the person being dumped came up with his own clever lines later on in the conversation to get back at his girlfriend.
That "New Film"
Oh man, now this is a pretty cruel move to pull. One person asks the other if they’ve heard of a movie called “other people.” So, of course, person #2 naturally thinks that person #1 is going to ask them to go see this new movie. They probably already started to imagine the romantic evening they’re going to have, huddled together in the dark theater… are they going to kiss or not going to kiss... But then, out of nowhere, person #1 says that what they want to see is other people, and they aren’t talking about a movie.
As clever as the message is, it is a pretty low move to pull, and we feel sorry for the person who received this message. Kids, don’t try this at home. As for person #2, hopefully, their future involves somebody who will be kinder to them.
Checkmate
It seems like these text messages might be a couple of jokes tossed around by a hilarious couple who have a good sense of humor. At least, we hope it’s that way. If they are being serious, then the man gets seriously played, and his lady gets the final last unique word in. In short, she won by a long run.
If the situation is real, then there’s nothing to say; getting dumped when you’re expecting a baby is rough. But, being able to shove the fact that you’re pregnant in the face of your baby daddy who’s trying to dump you is the most satisfying thing. Hopefully, these two were just joking around with one another or were able to reconcile their relationship, at least for the sake of their unborn child.
It's Love...and It's Over
Apparently, this woman got inspired by 'Love Actually' and decided that if place cards worked so well to declare your love to someone, why not use them to break up, too?
You have to love this woman's clever little note transformation. And come to think of it, it's a pretty simple and accurate description of a relationship. One minute "it's love," and the next, "it's over."
No Questions Here
Sometimes when someone has been dumped, their ego won't let them go down without a fight. They have to have the last word, some small jab somewhere. In this case, this annoying ex felt it necessary to casually acknowledge the fact that they had been unfriended on Facebook.
Why, exactly? Wouldn't it have been less embarrassing to not acknowledge it at all with the person who broke up with you? Of course, but we're dealing with egos here, not intellect. Luckily, the ex wasn't having any of it. You wanna throw in attitude and question marks? No problem, let's go!
Just a Little Space
We don't know about you, but if we were the ones breaking up with Sarah and she replied with space images, we'd never let her go. We can't think of a more clever or more hilarious response to the tired, cliche phrase, "I just need some space."
This person doesn't even deserve those beautiful photos! We wonder what they replied...
Pick a Lane
Is there anything worse than those people who dip in and out of your life on a whim? They come in, cause drama, make you feel bad about yourself, and then leave (not quietly). Finally, you have some peace in your life again. Then BOOM. They hurl themselves back into your life, and not politely, mind you.
There's no "Hi, how are you?" or any concern for your well-being, they just want to know if you can be readily available for them again. This string of texts sums up these people perfectly. If you have someone in your life like this, don't even bother engaging. And PLEASE, don't think they'll change.
YOLO
This is just priceless. Not only did this guy not have the nerve to break up in person, but he also couldn't even write his own words?! Then again, judging by his second message, we understand why this guy had to use a Chris Brown song.
However, we do totally agree that you only live once, and this is precisely what this woman should remember next time she gets sad over this loser breaking up with her.
Millennial Breakup
Whoever said that emojis were affecting our communication skills? If anything, this clears things up - there aren't many ways in which this text could get misunderstood. You fall in love, become a couple, time goes by, the love goes away, and you wave goodbye and make a run for it.
And in the odd chance, it wasn't clear, two thumbs up and some cool sunglasses should do the trick. Seriously though, this guy couldn't even try to type words?! The girlfriend dodged a bullet.